Moving On
by Serene1Writer
Summary: Eren has to get out of his hometown. Things aren't working anymore, in the middle of the night he just disappears. He finds himself a few hours away with an old friend and a bunch of strangers. But he has no choice but to make it home now. AU & BDSM.
1. Moving

Moving

I got off the train with my duffle bag slung over my shoulder and an overpriced ticket in my grasp. I had gone on the train's website at 3 AM and bought a ticket for the 7 AM train, spent the rest of my night packing. It was all for this, to be standing about 2 hours away from all my problems, with a fresh start and new hope.

"First things first," I muttered. I took my phone out and texted the only person in Karanes that I knew.

Reiner, we hadn't been particularly close, in fact the two of us were barely acquaintances, but in high school we had raced against each other at track meets and when we had tied a few too many times decided to train together and exchanged numbers. Reiner had moved away for college and so it had been two years since we had even spoken let alone seen each other.

But Reiner was a great guy and he showed up at the train station not twenty minutes later in a beat up pickup truck.

"Hey mile-long hop in," he cracked a smile and I jogged around the side, tossed my bag in the back and got in.

"Thanks for meeting me here Reiner, I owe you."

"No problem man, I knew when you woke me up at 5 AM that it had to be something important." He threw a sidelong glance at me and his stare lingered. I knew what he was looking at, I'd looked better for sure. My eyes had dark circles and I was sure that it would be hard to keep my head up. I was lucky that Reiner had a nice couch he was willing to let me borrow until I had a job and a place of my own.

"Ya I just felt like I needed a change of scenery," I looked out the window.

"Well, it's really different than what we used to have in Trost. But man I think you'll love it, I have some friends I could introduce you to. Also, I shot my boss a text on the way over here. I work at this restaurant, it can be kind of lame sometimes but there's a few chains and locations and the pay is above minimum. We might need to swing by there around noon to meet him but he said he might be willing to meet you."

"Wow Reiner, thank you," I said genuinely surprised.

"Ya no problem, he's kind of a pain in the ass sometimes but if you keep your head down a job is a job."

"No seriously," I nodded. "It means a lot," I smiled. Reiner started talking about his time in college, apparently, he dropped out in his second quarter, sent his mom home a friend's transcript for the completion of it so she wouldn't be pissed he squandered her money. But as Reiner talked about his culinary classes and how amazing they had been I stared out the window at a view that would probably never get old. Running parallel to the train tracks was the ocean, vibrant blue and reflecting the sun out onto the road. It was gorgeous, I would have to go down to the beach the first chance I got.

"Did you bring interview clothes?" Reiner asked after slapping my leg, he had probably asked once before.

"Sorry I was distracted by the ocean," I admitted. "It just reminds me of fresh starts, I'm hoping I get one here." I smiled at him and from the look on his face, I wondered if I had made a mistake. A quick glance in the side mirror told me everything was fine, though.

"You ok man?" Reiner asked, his eyebrows knitted together even as he stared at the road.

"Ya, it's just been a hard week. I just really want to start over, somewhere fresh."

He nodded and didn't push. "So clothes?"

"Everything I've got is in that bag, you know your boss better than me so you tell me when we get back to your place."

"Alright sounds logical," he smiled and started making his way inland away from the ocean. The drive was about another ten minutes until we reached his apartment, it was in a nicer complex, it had a bunch of glass and shiny stainless steel. The whole complex had a modern look, actually as I looked around the whole city had a modern look to it. There were vibrant green hedges, newly trimmed grass, even the people were dressed sharp, much nicer than I would be. I had four favorite pairs of jeans, some nice slacks, mostly t-shirts, one button up, and some sweaters. I had to pack my running shoes of course and some basketball shorts to keep myself in the shape I was used to. I also had the two grand I had stashed in a compartment Armin had helped me create back when we were both a little too into recreational drugs and needed to sneak them into our homes. Apparently that money would be going towards some interview clothes, I shouldn't complain I was really fortunate that Reiner had stuck his neck out for me so readily.

"Hey I'm going to go get a spare made for you ok," Reiner said as he twisted the key into his lock, apartment 221. He opened the door and the space wasn't very furnished, and what was wasn't furnished very nice. I winced a bit at all the take out containers on the floor, likely leaving some stains on his hardwood, it was a light grey and went well with the black and white color scheme. I took a deep breath and dropped my bag on the floor. "It ain't much but it's free for you right now so don't bitch," he laughed seeing my face. "Wash up, take a shower, your hair looks like hell, I'll pick up some cover up for your eyes man, don't want you looking like a zombie when you meet Furlan."

"Thanks, I'll be done in like fifteen, do you have a hair dryer?"

"Ya, it's under the bathroom sink. If anything goes wrong and you need to be picked up or something just call my pal Bertolt. I left his number on the fridge so go ahead and give him a ring if anything gets weird." I shouted my thanks and Reiner ducked out. I grabbed my phone and the charger and tossed it onto the bathroom counter to charge while I stepped into the shower. I grabbed the $30 concealer that I had picked up from a brand makeup company a few days ago. I could have mentioned to Reiner that I had the good stuff but I liked having some backup in case something went wrong. Reiner would spend ten bucks on the drug store brands max and if I got the job today I'd definitely take him out.

Before I could even consider unpacking or taking a shower for that matter I had to clean this floor. I went into the kitchen and took some trash bags out of the large pantry after trying four other cupboards. Apparently, Reiner thought that trash bags belonged with dry foods for some reason. I opened it up and started tossing old Chinese food bins, pizza boxes, and countless numbers of used silverware. I also had to pick up the odd cup here and there and toss it in. I tied the bag up and set it by the door after emptying the actual trash into it too. I looked for something to clean the floors with but alas couldn't find anything so I was forced to let them be.

I ran the water until it had a nice singe to it and stripped my clothes off. I stepped in and borrowed some of Reiner's shampoo, I was a little put off that it was for light hair but it had a nice smell to it and I didn't really feel like one use would make much of a difference anyways. The shampoo and conditioner washed out easily taking dirt and probably blood with them down the drain. The body wash Reiner had was pretty much to die for and I hoped that was the scent that stood out most. I was careful around my face as I used a gentle washcloth. I stepped out of the faux marble shower and onto the stunningly contrasted black shower mat. There were lines of grey running through the faux marble in the shower and on the counter tying the light white and dark black together, most of Reiner's touches were grey including the toilet seat cover, the towels, and shower curtain. I pulled the hair dryer out from under the sink and laughed at the bright pink color, I plugged it in anyway and got to work. I didn't really have any hair routine since it was mostly the messy look that got me through my day to day life, I'd pull a brush through it before I left. My phone lit up. I tried not to look at it, I knew it was only about 10AM and there was a pretty good chance that it was Armin texting me after receiving the news. I bit my lip as his face took up the screen and he tried to facetime me. I was naked and also without the makeup so I really couldn't answer that. I declined the call and took my hands through my hair to test how wet it was. I dried it a little more and then started to apply the makeup around my face to make it appear more normal, I left my eyes with the rings so I could pretend to use the makeup Reiner would bring back. I unpacked my two button-ups, surprise surprise it seems that I thought I'd need to be more fancy than I remembered. I picked the dark green one, hoping it drew more attention to the color of my eyes rather than the circles under them.

"I'm back," Reiner called as he tossed the door shut. "Woah," he stopped in his tracks. "All my boxes are gone," he looked around. "Did you clean?" he sounded more pissed than pleased, "before you even got settled in you decided to clean?" he scoffed. "Clean freaks," he threw a key at me. "It's all yours, if you get lucky and get the job maybe you can get the urban setting which is walking distance or if you get placed out on the pier with me and we can carpool if we get matching shifts."

"I'll take anything I can get, to be honest," I shrugged.

"Great, get some clothes on, wait no, let me see what you brought first." He leaned against the front door. I held up the black slacks and dark green button up. "It's not bad," he conceded. "Anything short sleeve?"

"Only t-shirts," I left out the fact that I wasn't willing to wear short sleeves to any sort of professional setting.

"Nah just wear that then, it's cooler here than Trost anyways and we're going to the pier restaurant so you won't look too out of place." I pulled the button up on and then the pants. I tucked the shirt in and cursed my mixed up mind for not packing a belt. I took out my nicer shoes and running shoes to get them out of the way. I found some socks and slipped the shoes on after them. "Here let me grab one of my belts for you," he pushed off the door and went into his room. He came back out with a black belt and I slipped it on. "There, Furlan will love you," he smiled. "Let's go, I'll let him know we're on our way a little early."

"Ok sounds great," I wiped my sweaty palms and took a deep breath.

"Don't sweat it, he shouldn't be too hard on you." Reiner opened the door and I followed him out into the hallway and down to the car. "Your cover up is on the dash," Reiner said as we climbed into his truck. We drove down the same way we had come up but turned away from the train station another five minutes and he pulled into a back lot. "It's all the way at the end," Reiner said as we climbed out of the truck. "You got your makeup on well," he teased.

"It's an important interview," I brushed the comment off like I hadn't been hiding things for the better part of five years now.

"It would be great if you could get it your first day in town."

"Ya, it would," I whistled lowly as we passed a Bugatti. "Damn," I whispered.

"Ya we get some high-class clients, must have gotten lost, though, the restaurant pays for covered parking for all guests and they validate parking for them too."

"I wish they had a valet," I joked as we walked up the steps to the pier.

"You and me both," he laughed. "But unfortunately I'm just a cook."

"It's great that you like your job so much, though."

"I got pretty lucky, my friend Bertolt had suggested it when I was struggling through college."

"Will I get to meet this guy soon?"

"Ya, he comes over and crams usually once a week since his roommates party harder than he'd like."

"So he's still in college?" Reiner nodded. The restaurant was getting closer and it was really nice. The front was white and light blues and there were two french glass doors leading into the area. Once inside the blue and white continued in the interior, white half walls, that came up to about the average person's knee, maybe a little higher, the rest was glass panels that provided a panorama view of the ocean. The napkins were a gorgeous light teal to match the rest of the highlighted color, the dinner plates and salad plates alternated between white and the same teal. The table clothes were a light grey that could appear to be almost white in some lights.

"Reiner," a man at the front greeted, his outfit was casual while still looking expensive and I had a feeling that my dad who was a doctor might wince a little receiving a bill from this place. "It's good to see you, I thought you didn't work until five tonight, though?" they shook hands.

"Naw I'm here to see Furlan, I've got a friend here who might be joining the team." He gestured back at me.

"Oh is this Bertolt?" he asked as he looked at me.

Reiner laughed a little and shook his head, "No this is Eren, he's new to the city."

"Oh hey Eren," the guy smiled. "Nice to meet you, I'm Marco."

"Nice to meet you too," I held my hand out.

"Well Furlan is in the kitchen you can go right back."

"Thanks," Reiner smiled and he started leading me off. "Hey Furlan," Reiner called as he entered the kitchen, a few guys looked up and waved, a few even made a vocal greeting and Reiner nodded his head to them. He snagged a spoon that one of the cooks was using to stir and popped what appeared to be a mashed potato of some kinds in his mouth before tossing the spoon into the sink. "Don't mess up the recipes just because it's lunch guys," he called after him. "It should have more cheese than that." A few men mumbled 'yes chef' while one very enthusiastic man yelled after Reiner. Reiner looked behind him and shot the guy a smile. "Good job," he nodded and the man went back to work, grating more fresh cheese.

"Hey Furlan," Reiner said while knocking on an office door. I was absorbed in the atmosphere of the kitchen, it looked a little hassled, there were metal prep areas in places that didn't make sense to me but all of the cooks seemed to be working flawlessly. The restaurant hadn't appeared to be even three-fourths full and so the kitchen didn't appear to be full either. Several stations were unmanned and there was a large metal door that I assumed led to the freezer. They had a fridge with glass doors and I could see everything neatly prepped and waiting in the machine. Even the space back here was high end, there were several ovens and stove tops too, everything seemed to be working flawlessly. A woman came through the double doors, she wore an outfit similar to Marco's but instead she had a skirt and a small heel to accentuate her legs. "Furlan," Reiner knocking a second time drew me out of my trance.

"I'm sorry are we keeping you waiting?" an icy voice asked as the door swung open. A man much shorter than Reiner glared up at him with cold eyes of steel that seemed to be daring him to say another word.

"My apologies Mr. Ackerman, I wasn't aware you were in the restaurant today," Reiner hung his head, cheeks flushed. "I had texted Furlan that I would be bringing by someone who might make a good addition to the team but we can wait until you're done of course."

"We've already been disturbed now and this is my restaurant so why don't I interview the kid for you?" his eyes were narrow as the turned on me. I gulped, hopefully not audibly and tried not to look away.

"Thank you for your time," I tried to make it sound less like a question but to be honest, I was terrified to step into that office.

"Come in," he hissed through clenched teeth. "Furlan," he barked as I stepped forwards and my step faltered, "put the classified crap away until it's just us again." I saw the other man in the room move to file some papers back into a folder and roll up a large blue page. "Get in," the man said more forcefully.

"Sorry," I scrambled in, careful not to crowd or hit him in the doorway. The office was more spacious than it had appeared from outside, it intruded into the kitchen about four feet but it borrowed about another ten from somewhere else, making more than enough room for a desk, multiple filing cabinets, and a dart board full of pictures.

The man who had let me in leaned back against the desk and crossed his arms. I was torn between my good manners of shaking his hand and really not wanting to piss him off anymore.

"Sorry about him," the man who must have been Furlan said as he rolled his eyes and stepped forwards. "Levi, apart from being a close personal friend, can be a bit of an ass sometimes. He thinks that even when he shows up unannounced when I have plans he should still be the most important thing in the room." For this man's sake, I sure hoped he was a personal friend, the man before me didn't seem interested in taking anyone's shit and I felt like I could witness a firing or a murder right now.

Levi however just exhaled a bit and turned his head away.

"I'm Furlan, pleasure to formally meet you."

"Hi I'm Eren, thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me," I shook his hand firmly. "It's an honor to meet with both of you, from what I gather I'm pretty lucky to be here on the same day the boss is."

This earned an amused noise from Levi as he pushed himself off the desk and unfolded his arms. He looked me up and down for a moment before extending his own hand. "I think luck is just about the last thing that had a hand in that kid. Levi Ackerman," he nodded then reclaimed his hand.

I wasn't quite sure what to say to that, but thankfully Furlan took the lead. "Well Eren I have a few of our standard interview questions for you, but given the fact that Reiner recommended you I wouldn't stress too much if I were you."

"Furlan, go take a lap around the restaurant," Levi made a circle with his index finger. "I'll handle this," he grinned.

"Fine Levi, but remember that Reiner is our head cook and anyone can train to be a waiter," he shook his head and left the room.

Levi tilted his head a bit. "Do you know anything about this restaurant?" he asked.

"To be honest, not much no," I tried not to look away from him. "I just got into town this morning and Reiner told me that he had spoken to Furlan shortly after that. I pretty much just showered and came here. I do have some experience as a waiter though," I hoped that would make up for my completely lame response of not knowing anything about what this man had spent his time and money on. Hell maybe it was even a life long dream fulfillment of his and here I was waltzing in asking for a job without even knowing the name. I glanced around the office hoping for at least the name of the restaurant.

"So you've waited tables before?" he quirked an eyebrow.

"Yes sir," I looked into his eyes again.

"Ok," he nodded. "Do you feel confident enough in your skills as a waiter to work tonight from 5 to 11?"

"If I were allowed to look at a menu then absolutely," I nodded quickly.

He looked me up and down again. "Fine I'll go grab you a menu and a uniform for tonight, I'm very particular about how my staff looks so I'll inspect you before I let you anywhere near the floor."

"Ok sounds good, thank you, sir," he left the room and I stayed in the office. I took a deep breath, already working a six-hour shift, just have to prove that I can handle it. I nervously touched my pointer fingers together, then the middle, then the ring, then the pinky, then back up to the ring, middle, pointer and repeated until the door opened.

"Here you are," he handed me a menu. "Spend however much time you need with it I'll get you a uniform, what size."

"Large shirt and 34 pants," I was already looking at the cover of the menu. He nodded and left the room.

'Garrison' was written in elegant script in black on a stark white menu. Under the 'G' was a red rose with its stem curling around the elegant cursive. Above the 'n' a second rose sprouted up towards the top of the menu. There was nothing else on the first page, I opened the menu and the page on the left was now a very pale, almost white blue, the one on the right was a sky blue. The menu read elegantly:

Appetizers

Shrimp Cocktail with Three Sauces

Lobster Rolls (4 pc)

Crab Cakes (4 pc)

Seafood Crab Dip with Four Types of Cracker

Bacon Wrapped Barbeque Shrimp

Fried Artichoke Hearts

Kielbasa-Apple Skewers

Your Choice of Three Dips and Two Crackers

(Italian Tuna, Creamy Shrimp, Deviled Crab, Pimiento Cheese, Garlic Clams)

Entrees: From Net to Table

Boiled Lobster Tails

Maple Salmon

Shrimp Scampi

Cajun Seafood Pasta

Baked Scallops

Crab Stuffed Manicotti

Clam Bake

Entrees: Fresh Picked For You

Grilled Eggplant, Tomato, and Goat Cheese

Grilled Portobello Sandwich with Roasted Red Pepper and Mozzarella

Grilled Garlic Parmesan Zucchini

Grilled Potatoes and Onion

Entrees: Tender Meats

Rosemary Ranch Chicken Kabobs

Chicken with Red Wine Sauce

Filet with Garlic Butter

Pepper Steak

Sides:

Marinated, Spicy Vegetables

Pita with Your Choice of 3 Toppings

Cheesy Potatoes

Garlic Roasted Broccoli

Grilled Corn on the Cob

Green Beans and Bacon

Baked Potato Casserole

Dessert:

Apple Dumplings

Chocolate Molten Cake

Creme Brulee

Bread Pudding

Pie

(Apple, Cherry, Strawberry)

Cookie Platter

(Chocolate Chip, Snickerdoodle, Fudge, Peanut Butter, and Lemon)

The menu was extensive but well balanced and fit neatly onto two pages. I noticed that at the top of the menu the word 'Dinner' sat in a plain script. I wondered then what was being served right now. I opened the door and stepped into the kitchen, most of the people didn't even look at me although Levi did stop what he was doing and walk over.

"There's no way you already feel comfortable with the menu, it's made to be simple but not that simple kid."

"No sir, I was hoping there would be a way for me to taste at least some of the dishes so that I could more properly recommend them to patrons," I was nervous talking to him at all, but out here in front of other people was worse.

"Very well," he nodded and uncrossed his arms, putting his hands into his pockets. "What do you want to try first?"

"Whatever is the most convenient."

"Sir," the man who had previously yelled at Reiner appeared holding a bowl while stirring vigorously. "We have a few unwashed bowls and dishes if that would be helpful. Someone would just have to identify for him what they were."

"Fine, fine, do that then, I don't know what's in them. I'm going to find Furlan, there's a bathroom in the back that I've hung your uniform up in, at the end of the night you take it off and leave it there again so we can clean it. You don't get it dirty do you understand? Any mark no matter how small, you tell Furlan right away and he'll get you a new shirt, ok?" I nodded rapidly. "Good, I'll be around. Good luck remembers you aren't hired just yet." I gulped and nodded again.

"Here, Eren right?" the guy asked while he grabbed my arm.

"Um ya," I said looking away from Levi and back at him.

"My name is Connie, I can help you figure out what's what, and we'll get you some of the meats to taste too, people usually send something back at some point so it'll be a great chance for you."

"Ok, thanks for your help. I'll wash the dishes once we're done."

"You don't have to," he smiled. "We have a dishwasher who comes an hour before dinner to get them ready."

"I'm sure he'd appreciate the break," I said. I rolled up my sleeves once it was just me and Connie towards the far side of the kitchen where most people weren't working. I tried to ignore as his eyes lingered over the scars on my wrists, or worse the bright red lines that were still trying their best to heal. I heard the doors to the front swish closed and realized, as I saw his retreating form through the small windows, that Levi had only just left. Connie pointed out some of the dishes which I tasted and committed to memory, I kept the menu right next to me so that I could stare at the item as I tasted it and repeat it about ten times in my head. Then Connie would ask about ones I already tasted and I would describe them. It was pretty helpful actually. We got really lucky, according to Connie, and one woman sent her filet back claiming she had asked for medium rare instead of medium, so I had a chance to taste that. The cooks were really gifted and I was suddenly glad I hadn't eaten in almost twenty hours.

"I think that's everything, Connie," I said as I finished looking at the menu, well everything that dinner and lunch have in common anyways. "Thanks for your help," I smiled as I started washing some of the dishes.

"No problem," Connie lingered as I began looking over the menu again to make sure I was ready for tonight. "Hey Eren," I looked towards him again. "We should exchange numbers once I'm off, no phones on shift and all, don't you think?"

"Sure that sounds nice, I don't have a lot of friends in the city so that would be really fun."

"Cool, we can exchange schedules once you get yours and meet up for lunch or dinner sometime, I can take you to some of the best spots in the city." He smiled brightly and I was actually excited to do that. "And Eren," his voice had changed now as he was about to walk back to his station. "If you ever need to call about something, well then," he stared at my wrists and suddenly it clicked, he didn't want to be friends, not really. "Then you can call me then too, ok?"

"Ya of course," I forced a smile onto my face. Maybe I shouldn't have washed the dishes. I stared at the bubbles as they swirled around a pot I was cleaning before I dumped the accumulated water out and watched them circle the drain.

 **AN: I'm so excited about this new story. I'm going to be aiming for weekly to biweekly updates. I'll do my best but I am still writing it and sometimes things come up so I hope you guys will be patient with me. If you like this story I have another Levi Eren one called 'Life Beside You'. Enjoy.**


	2. Scars

Scars

"You feeling ok?" Reiner asked as I stepped out of the bathroom once again in my green long sleeve and my black pants. Reiner himself was in some jeans and a t-shirt.

"Ya I'm alright, my feet are killing me, though." I was also internally panicking because of two reasons, one I now had to go speak with either Levi or Furlan whichever was here and see if I actually had a job. And two my makeup had gotten thinner as the night went on, from now on I would have to bring it with me to touch up half way through shifts.

"Busier than you thought?"

"I thought seven o'clock was going to kill me," I was honest as we walked out of the spotless kitchen, most other chefs and waiters already on their way to the parking lot.

"Ya, that's the hardest time to get a reservation because of the great view of the sunset, we get a lot of proposals then too. More during the summer, if the guests call ahead and let us know we staff one of our waiters who is also a photographer and he can take professional pictures if they want them."

"That's pretty neat, not a lot of places do that."

"No they don't," Reiner agreed and stopped as we were near the front. He nodded to Furlan in the back who was tossing tablecloths into a large cloth bag.

"I'll be right back," I said nervously and headed over. "Hello sir," I said as I approached.

"Oh Eren," he greeted warmly and stopped his work. "I'm glad you remembered to come over."

I nodded my head, "Can I help you with your work sir?" I picked up one of the cloths.

"You don't have to but it is appreciated," he smiled and picked up another. "I heard quite a few times today that you were a hard worker Eren, it's good news," he smiled. "Connie said you washed some of the lunch dishes and Levi and I both noticed you stayed until your shift to look over the menu. I had no guest complaints and your tips looked very good. I think that just leaves the one issue with your first table right?"

"Uh ya," I suddenly felt nervous. It was a really dumb mistake, I had spent hours getting comfortable with the usual dinner menu and when I came up to my first table and they asked what the specials were it was everything I could do not to just stare. I felt like I had recovered quickly, made up a lie that the chef had still been deciding when I came out to greet them. It made them happy and I got their drink order before rushing back to find out what the specials were. Overall they had still tipped well and seemed to have a pleasant evening, I had hoped it wouldn't reflect too poorly on me but it seems that Furlan didn't miss anything.

"Don't worry everyone is bound to make one mistake their first night, I'm just glad you didn't spill wine on someone or something equally disastrous. Levi was very impressed too, he didn't exactly say that but he did give me his permission to put you on the schedule. The only caveat he made was that he's short staffed at one of his other restaurants on Saturday so he wants you to come here at 4 and he'll drive you to the other location to work 5 to 12, a longer shift but it's a different kind of atmosphere, he'll give you a uniform when you get there same as today. So don't stress too much ok?" I nodded. "Take your phone out and I'll give you your days for this week."

"Yes sir," I fished it out of my back pocket. I opened the calendar and waited.

"You'll work Wednesday, tomorrow, from 5 to 11 just like tonight, Thursday I need you to come in for lunch so 11 to 4, I'm sorry I know that's a bit of a pain what with getting off so late on Wednesday and all, you'll have a more normal schedule next week, but I did give you Friday off because of it, then Saturday you come here at 4 to meet Levi then Sunday 5 to 10. Can you make those?"

"Yes absolutely," I nodded.

"Great, tomorrow bring me your banking information so I can get you on payroll and give me your email," he took out his phone. "I'll send you next week's schedule on Friday and I'll send you the employee packet tonight, fill it out and email it back before work tomorrow ok?" I nodded as he handed me his phone and I put my email in. "Ok Eren have a good night, I'll pay you in cash tomorrow for what you did today and when you come in tomorrow I'll give you a clock in, so find me as soon as you get here ok?"

"Of course."

"Oh," he said suddenly. "I forgot actually Wednesday and Thursday are my days off since we aren't as busy, so my assistant manager works, his name is Oluo, to be honest, he's kind of a cad so I might show up at 5 to get you your number or I could just call Levi and let him know, either way, ask for me or Oluo as soon as you get in ok?"

"Yes sir."

"Very good, alright head home Eren, you've earned a good rest." There were only two more tablecloths towards the front of the restaurant, I jogged over to them and snatched them up before turning around and putting them in the basket. He smiled and then I really did turn to leave.

"Good news?" Reiner asked as we walked out of the front doors.

"He said that Levi approved of him hiring me," I smiled.

"That's great! I have to admit I was kind of worried when Levi was here, he can be an interesting character sometimes, I was worried he might prevent it just because we interrupted, but it seems he's not that shallow."

"It seems he's not," I nodded. I remembered each time I had seen Levi that night. The part that stuck out the most to me though, I shivered against the cool night air as I remembered it. His firm grasp on my wrist as I made for the doors to the kitchen, I had an order slip in my hand and his sudden move made me loosen my grip on it so that it fell to the floor. I gulped hard as I stared at him. His grip was firm but his fingers were gentle around the underside of my wrist, could he have seen? My heart had been so loud it echoed in my ears and it was almost impossible for me to hear him over it's incessant beating, in fact I was lucky he hadn't said anything at all. Instead he had taken his pointer finger and touched just next to his left eye three times, then let me go. I had hastily picked up the ticket, shoved it into the expediter's hand to give to the cooks and hurriedly headed for the bathroom. My makeup had been fading and bright purple was showing through, I carefully blended some from my forehead down to the spot, there was a thin line the size of a tightrope between blending and wiping off and thankfully, after years of practice I was able to cover the dark purple trying to peek through.

"Furlan," we both heard an angry voice. "I'm telling you he's not at his car! If he was at his car don't you think I would have noticed, there are three cars in the parking lot right now, one is yours, that stupid eco corn bullshit you drive, one is mine which you think I'd recognize by now and so the last one must belong to the- goodbye Furlan sorry about disturbing you." Reiner had a raised brow as we met up with Levi in the parking lot. He casually raked one hand through his hair as he used the other to shove his phone in his pocket. "Eren," he called to me.

"Yes sir?" my voice was panicked. Had he changed his mind? Was he here to tell me that I wouldn't be getting the job and not to bother showing up? I was finally feeling more comfortable in my rash choice to pick up and leave my hometown with no support and barely enough money.

His finger coiled summoning me over. I looked to Reiner who shrugged and made his way to the car and leaned against the driver's side. I made my way over to Levi. "Get in the car," Levi clicked his key and the lights flashed as the Bugatti unlocked.

"This is your car?" I marveled once again at the car Reiner and I had been so jealous of this morning.

"It is, now get in."

"Wait, what?" his words were registering. "I'm on my way home, Reiner was-"

"I'll drop you off when we're done, but I have something important to speak with you about first. Tell him to go home without you."

Was this happening? I didn't know this man was I really just supposed to get into his car? I didn't care how much of an effect he had on me, or how much effort it had taken to ignore that effect. I hadn't acknowledged the way my breath had hitched when I had first seen him, the zing of warmth when I shook his hand for the first time, the definitely not PG-13 rated thoughts that had entered my brain when he left me alone in his office with a desk that was likely the perfect size to bend him over, or me over, that seemed more likely to be honest. I had ignored all of this and more in order to get a job I desperately needed and I didn't need any surprise appearances in the car ruining the job that would get me settled.

"I don't know you," I managed to choke out over the huge lump in my throat.

He sighed and closed the space between us. "No I suppose you don't but that means the reverse is also true. I don't know you either but I'm still having you come into my car, a confined space, putting myself at risk too if you turn out to be a crazy psychopath, because this is, in fact, as I stated before, important. Reiner," he snapped and Reiner looked behind him towards us. "I'm taking Eren to see one of the other restaurants, the one I need his help at on Saturday I'll bring him back to your place after that." Reiner nodded, gave a thumbs up that was barely visible in the moonlight and climbed into his truck leaving me with little options.

"Will you get in the car now?" Levi asked as we watched Reiner turn out onto the empty streets and speed off.

Well, it's good to know that in a crisis situation where I might be stranded with a psychopath I was so willing to watch my means of escape pass me by with no fight whatsoever. So I sighed, turned, and climbed into the car that was more than I could afford even in my dreams.

"Good to know you can act reasonably," Levi climbed into the car, turned it on and sped out onto the empty coastal road.

We were quiet for awhile as he drove, I figured the restaurant must be a ways off if I had to show up an hour early on Saturday to get there. I watched as the ocean drove alongside us. The waves were beautiful and the ocean at night was even more captivating than the ocean during the day. Slowly we were ascending a road that encircled a mountain. The road gradually became more of an incline although it was never so bad that I was worried we might slide back. After a few minutes it leveled out and there was just a very large parking lot, a considerably large building, and us. Levi parked the car on the edge of the mountain overlooking the ocean.

"Is this the restaurant?" I asked unbuckling my seat belt.

"Yes, this is the one I own that you'll work at on Saturday," he nodded and unbuckled his seatbelt as well. "Come with me." He stepped out of the car and I followed. We walked the short distance to the front doors and he shifted through his key ring until he found what he was looking for and unlocked one of the doors. He held it open and I went in first. This restaurant was very different from the other one. Even the outside was a different style. This space seemed to be more intimate than the other. There were high booths lining the walls, a huge fireplace that was framed by a view of the city. The ocean was actually blocked, by the only solid wall in the building, every other one was made of half glass like Garrison, an odd choice. There were little circles in the middle of every table and a huge pillar that seemed to support the table. The decor was mostly cabin style, lots of dark woods, with red and orange highlights, including curtains, table mats, and napkins. This restaurant had no table clothes and considerably more room.

"Hey are you just going to stand there?" Levi was waiting in the doorway of the solid wall and looking back at me. "Come on, I didn't bring you all the way out here to stare awkwardly at the city." He disappeared behind the wall and I was left with little choice except to follow him. I felt my phone go off and stole a quick glance before I rounded the corner.

'Everything ok?' it was Reiner.

'Ya he took me to some restaurant on a hill. Everything's fine. Go to bed.' I replied and shoved my phone away. I took the corner and instantly the wall no longer seemed like a bad idea. The ocean hit you like a slap in the face. The outdoor seating area was breathtaking. It was covered so that even in the rain it would be cozy, the seating was high end couches and a few large cushioned chairs. The entire thing was lined with black metal and I was confused until suddenly it lit up with fire. The fire was out of arm's reach, even if you would have tried but it still gave a warmth to the space that was missing without it.

"Here," he beckoned and I turned to see him walking away from a dial on the back, that must have lit the fire, and towards a table that had two glasses and a bottle of wine on it. "I didn't bother with the candle on the table, it'll just be a waste and get in the way most likely. If you really want to though I can light it."

"It's fine this way," I said and occupied the other large single seat, avoiding the couch like the death sentence it most likely was. I was already in some trouble here, to be honest, this was one of the most romantic places I had ever been. The fact that we were alone took it from a great date spot to downright erotic. It was likely I might need to hide my pants from him at least at some point tonight so I'd rather not be right beside him on the couch. He, however, didn't take the seat opposite me as I imagined he would, he brazenly sat down in the center of the comfortable looking couch and grabbed the bottle of wine.

He poured both glasses and handed me one. I was a little embarrassed to admit that I didn't particularly like wine, let alone red wine, I much preferred the sweetness of a pink if I was going to have wine. So I took the glass from him and sipped on it, figured if I was going to politely choke it down I should get an early start.

"Sir I have to admit I'm a bit confu-"

"I own four restaurants in this town," he said as he stared away from me, fixated on the water or the moon, I didn't know which.

"That's impressive," I conceded, suspecting that perhaps I wasn't here to talk to him, he was here to talk to me. For whatever reason.

"Thank you," he tossed it out with little sincerity. "I have the one you worked at today, Garrison, I have this one, Scout, I have another one in the center of town, Utopia and then my most recent to open is one that's in the club scene of town called No Regrets."

"Are they all like Garrison?" I asked him.

"No, God no," he sounded appalled at the thought. "A restaurant like Garrison would never survive in the club scene, especially not the way No Regrets has. They're all very different but I'm proud of each restaurant in it's own right. And I'm pleased that I was able to create such area appropriate places. I think it's true that a lot of things do well in some place with what they have where somewhere else they might suffer considerably, don't you think Eren?" I nodded and I saw him looking at me from the corner of his eyes. "When I was younger my father moved us around a lot, we lived in Ragako, Dauper, Jinae, even in Mitras for a little bit, but nowhere ever felt the way that Karanes did to me. I was very lucky, when my father was leaving Karanes for his next location I was eighteen and had enough money and say so to decide I was staying here. It wasn't easy, I roomed with friends for a little while, Oluo who I think Furlan mentioned, and a woman whose feelings I probably abused, Petra took her turns with dealing with me as well. I was lucky, to have friends like that. I think now maybe you're lucky to have found someone like Reiner." I nodded slowly not quite understanding. "The thing I forgot though was that before I had met Petra and Oluo I had friends who had cared about me too. Friends that I cut out and ignored. I think it was because I was used to moving around so much but I found out just how much their friendship meant to me when Izzy and Furlan took a train all the way out here to give me a piece of their mind. Since then I've put my faith in them and worked side by side with them on accomplishing my dreams of opening these restaurants. Without Izzy and Furlan I couldn't have done it, and without Petra and Oluo I would have been equally lost. When you make new beginnings don't throw the old books out," he looked at me directly now. "The people who have a history of knowing you will still know you even if you move, the only way they won't know you anymore is if you don't let them."

I took a deep breath and thought of the 5 missed calls and 27 text messages from Armin I was currently avoiding. How could he know all of that just after one day? There was no way. I looked down and I heard him sigh.

"My mother was a whore," my head snapped up to look at him. "Not like figuratively, like really, she was a whore. It took me until I was 16 to figure out we were moving around all the time because of her job but I caught on eventually. My dad was her pimp, and if that's not just the most disgusting thing you've ever heard I'd probably pay you to hear what you've got. As it is we've all got scars Eren, we just don't all carry them on our bodies." I was right before then, he had seen my cuts somehow.

"I don't mean to be rude but my scars are my business," I took a long swig of the distasteful wine.

"I wouldn't dream of telling you otherwise," he took a respectful sip. "But people like Connie are a valuable resource, and if you push them away your scars will only multiply."

"My scars aren't his business either."

"You pulled your sleeves up in front of him, you knew where they were." His tone was unforgiving.

"Why did you bring me out here?" I asked suddenly as I faced him, my glass empty and my courage emblazoned.

"I brought you out here because I've seen kids like you end up on the wrong side of the knife before. And," he looked down guilty, "And I didn't do anything about it before, I stood by and told myself it was their business what they did with their body and not to get involved. I told myself that lie right to the day I stood in front of their coffins. It's not my fault, it was their business. But then one day when I had an idea and I went and talked with Izzy and Furlan about it, it hit me all at once," his tone had changed and it was icy now. "I went to talk to my friends about just about everything, about good things and ideas, and when I had bad days we went out for drinks. I couldn't imagine not having someone to talk to when I had an idea for something exciting imagine how those kids felt not having anyone to talk to when they wanted to close their eyes and never wake up again. So it was my fault, my fault for not telling them someone cared in time, my fault for not making myself available when the night got too dark and the only shades they saw were black and pitch black, with no hope out. So I told myself the next time I saw it, I wouldn't just sit by and mind my own business. That's why I'm here Eren, because of the pretty red marks on your wrist."

I felt self-conscious about my cuts suddenly. It was the first time I'd ever really thought of them as having any consequence since...the incident. Mikasa's face flashed in my mind and I shoved the thoughts away quickly, couldn't dwell on that. Couldn't go back there.

I shook my head.

"What were you thinking?" I looked at him and his eyes were intensely trained on me. It was very unnerving.

"Just remembering one of the worse times. But I try not to spend a lot of time thinking back on bad ones."

He nodded understanding. "It's really better to focus on the good and to make efforts to create more good. To meet people who make you happy and can keep your mind off the bad. It's not easy to do," he admitted "But I think coming here was a good first step for you. It'll get you away from the negativity at least physically. Try to create happy memories here and to leave the bad ones in only one spot that you can get away from. I've heard physically stepping away from where you feel the pain can help surprisingly."

"That sounds fake," I was honest.

He held his hands up, "I never claimed it wasn't. It's just what I've heard from other people going through similar things." He poured some more wine into my now empty cup and I tried not to visibly wince at the thought of drinking more. The fire was crackling and I turned my attention back to the dark ocean in front of us.

"I want to be here to help you, I have my own personal reasons for it as I told you but ultimately it's up to you if you'll allow me close enough to help pull you up. Ultimately Eren no matter how hard I try, it's all up to you."

That was scary, too scary. I wasn't used to having this kind of power and suddenly all at once I desperately missed Ian more than I had in a really long time. I missed his ability to block stuff like this out, to take over and make sure that I didn't have to think. To make my cluttered noisy mind go blank and hollow, listening to him and only him until slowly he allowed the thoughts back in more organized. I wanted to pull my knees up, or call him, but I couldn't do either. Ian hadn't been in my life for a few years now and pulling my knees up would just make me look pathetic. I wanted to go home, to lay in a bed and finally close my eyes on this marathon of a day. It hit me all at once that I had been up for about 30 hours and my eyelids felt heavy. My hand slumped and lazily left the glass on the table next to me.

"Eren?" Levi's voice was worried.

"I'm ok," I shook my head. "I haven't slept since yesterday."

"That's not good," his voice was stern and clearly disapproving. "Wait here," he grabbed the glasses and left the bottle. His footsteps moved away and I closed my eyes. I wished I could hear the soothing melody of the waves but instead I could only hear the crackle of the fire. It was nice, though, it's tune also lulled me towards my dreams. The noise got fainter.

"Eren," I felt a strong hand shake me and I looked up to see Levi staring down at me, bottle in hand. "Come on, we need to get you back to your place." I nodded and stood up. "Give me your phone," he demanded and I fished it out of my pocket. He looked surprised at the screen, I tried to remember what my background was but I couldn't think of anything too outlandish it might be. "Reiner texted you once and someone named Armin called five times, left three voicemails, and texted you fifteen times. You should probably get on that, password."

"3736."

He punched it in as he led me back towards the car, setting the bottle in the backseat and holding the door open for me to slide in.

"Wait," I suddenly remembered. "I meant to ask if I could borrow a menu, I wanted to study it before Saturday."

He fought back a smile and shook his head. "Ya ok, I'll be right back," he walked to the large dark wood doors again, disappeared inside for a moment, and then came back out and locked them, pulling four times before seeming satisfied and coming back to the car. He tossed me the menu and I held it in my lap. Then he handed me back my phone, "my number is in there, I'm under Levi, call whenever you need me. Now what's your address," he had his phone out and was waiting. I stared at him. Oh crap. "Why do you have that look on your face?" his eyes narrowed.

I swallowed hard. "I kind of thought you knew where Reiner lived."

"You don't know? I thought you were staying with him?" he sounded pissed, more pissed than I thought he would actually and I shrunk into the seat.

"I am," I squeaked. "I have a key I just, don't know where it is."

"Do you know what the complex is called?" he seemed to actively be trying to control the tone of his voice.

I shook my head. "It's kind of modern looking, about fifteen minutes away from the train station, it's not on the water, about twenty minutes from work."

"Oh good, you've described 70 percent of the living conditions available to the public." He sighed and put the car in reverse. He peeled out of the space and floored the pedal down the hill. I genuinely had no idea where we were going. It took me the entire trip down the mountain to gather the courage to speak to him again.

"I'm sorry," my voice was quiet.

"Get your hand away from your cuts," he hissed.

"Wha?" I looked down and noticed my fingers were playing with the semi-recent cut that was trying to heal. "Oh," I folded my hands in my lap. "I play with my hands when I'm nervous. Bad habit."

"Very bad, you should work on breaking it." He didn't take his eyes off the road.

"Where are we going?" I whispered out into the car. If he had a noisy engine or music had been on there was no way he would have been able to hear me.

"My place," he said. "I texted Reiner four times, he's out cold. We'll get the address from him first thing in the morning and I'll take you home then. So until then, you'll just have to make due at my condo. But don't get it messy do you understand? I clean it meticulously and I can't handle adding a cleaning in tomorrow because you don't know how to properly conduct yourself within a residence."

"Yes sir, I promise," I really would make my best effort not to disturb a single damn thing in his home.

The road to his house was just off of the coastal highway and turned towards the coast rather than away from it as most of the homes did. The drive after that was very short, he made two turns and then pulled into a very long driveway. He opened his garage, well one of them, and pulled into the middle allowing me enough room to get out. As he got out on his side I thought I heard him mumbling about leaving enough space for someone else.

"Let's go," he sounded much less angry now as he unlocked the door leading from the garage. I followed him and observed as he wiped his left foot, once, twice, three times and his right foot, four times. Odd, but I stepped in and copied on his doormat that read "I already have it, and if I don't, I don't want it." I smiled as I looked at it, I'm surprised he didn't have it at the real front door. I took my shoes off and set them down next to his. I took my socks off too and held them in my hands.

"Good," he nodded in approval and I followed him through the space. The house was spacious and very open. He was on his phone as he walked to the kitchen. Everything was whites, greys, and blacks. That seemed to be the new theme, since my apartment with Reiner was similar. Levi's was much better done though, there was a clear upscale presence to it, the counters appeared to be marble with hues of grey running in veins through the slab. The flooring was wood, possibly real, it was hard to tell and was a light grey throughout. There was at least a 72 inch TV hanging above a gorgeous fireplace that was white brick with a black mantle with an 'L' sofa in front of it. There were accents of dark green around the place which were really the only signs of customization I could see. Cabinets were closed, appliances were stainless steel, no pictures or anything, overall the place seemed...cold.

Levi was taking two water bottles out of the fridge when he looked over at me. "Well don't just stand there," he sighed, suddenly he looked very tired. "I have a guest room come on," he nodded his head and walked down the hall. There were only three doors and he opened one on our way. "This is the bathroom you use," he closed the door again as we walked to the last door on the left. "This is where you'll stay," he opened it to a plainly decorated tan room with dark brown bedding and one nightstand. "The door right across is mine, you shouldn't need to bother me but if you do knock."

"Yes sir," I nodded.

"Good," he seemed to approve. "Now, go to bed Eren." He shoved the water bottle into my hand, he opened the door just enough to get in, squeezed through, and then shut it behind him. I guess it was time to go to sleep then.


	3. Bruises

Bruises

I had wanted desperately to call Armin before going to bed. I had even scrolled to his contact in my phone. But by the time I was ready to hit 'call' my eyes were already closed and I was halfway to dreamland. So it was a little startling when my phone went off like some crazed metal guitarist trying to hype up the crowd. I threw it across the room and cursed as it hit the wall, hopefully, no damage was done. The blaring beat of 'Mr. Brightside' was still going strong so fingers crossed. I took my lead legs out of bed and retrieved the phone.

"If that's Reiner tell him he's fired," the door opened abruptly and I was face to face with Levi, my new boss, in only my boxers. I looked up at him as he entered and he looked at me and arched an eyebrow. He opened his mouth to say something but his eyes suddenly bulged and he flinched back.

"What the hell Eren?" his voice was dripping with venom and I wondered if I had done something wrong.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I was curling in on myself rather than standing up.

In two brisk steps he closed the space between us, he wrapped his fingers around my wrist like a starving python and pulled with all his might. I didn't even fight as he dragged me out of my room for the night and into the bathroom. He stopped once we were both in the room and stood beside me before grabbing my chin between his fingers, my face lit up like a cherry, what was he trying to do? I mean I couldn't imagine saying no to someone so attractive but- he turned my face and I saw it. I stared in horror as I had forgotten one of the most important parts about staying at his house with none of my own resources.

The purple blotchy bruises were as bright as I had ever seen them, the cuts that had taken delicate time and precision to cover were fully visible, my black eye was angry and maybe it was just my imagination but it looked swollen all over again. Overall I looked like a complete disaster. I had been trying to hide this, just needed it to heal and disappear so I didn't have to remember every time I looked in the mirror. Remember as he-as he hit me, over and over again, my own father. Remember my mother's screams as she tried to pull him off. I swallowed hard and my eyes welled with tears all over again. The cuts had been deeper that night than they had been in a long time. Seeing all of these marks. It reminded me of what he thought of me, 'my son the fag,' he had hissed. He hit me again and again, scratched me a few times with his nails when his fists weren't quite right, he was never a fighter really. He hit me until I decided to just fall down. Fall at his feet, maybe then he could forgive me, could forgive me for liking men instead of women. It wasn't something I had wanted or even thought about, it was just me. 'My son the queer. What are they saying now,' he had snarled, 'it's all about pride right son?' he had kicked my eye then. My mom had screamed and wailed, a neighbor called the police and they were knocking, screaming about breaking the door down. I should have stayed, only a coward would leave. But that's what I was and that's what I did. I ran out of the back and jumped the fence. I ran away for a couple of hours, tried calling Armin but hung up each time. Then at midnight I snuck back in and thought about what I should do. If I could still live in my home, I couldn't. So I bought a train ticket, texted Reiner, and left.

"I….I got into a fight?" I tried my best to lie.

"Bullshit," he hissed at me, he was on his tiptoes to bring his mouth right against my ear. "I'm going to ask you one more time and if you lie to me so fucking help me Eren. What happened?"

"It's not bullshit," I pulled away from him suddenly and glared at him. My rage coming from somewhere I should have directed at my father. "I did get in a fight," I snapped. "I just," my fire was dying already. "I just didn't fight back," I finished looking at the tile and clenching my hands.

Levi was taking deep breaths, I could hear him as he focused on god knows what. "Ok," he said simply. I looked up my tears having already fallen from my eyes and making the long trip to the floor. His features softened considerably when he saw me crying. "Eren come here," he said and gently took my hand. He pulled me forwards and my legs obeyed automatically. He took me back into the room I had stayed in last night and nudged me towards the bed. I sat down at his urging and he kneeled in front of me.

"Whatever was hurting you, is it gone now?" he asked. I nodded not trusting my own voice. "You don't have to tell me what happened right now if you don't want to," he conceded. "But just promise me that if whatever or whoever it was becomes a problem again, let me know ok? I'll take care of it and," he hesitated, "and I'll take care of you."

My world started to feel airy and weightless. He would...take care...of...me? The idea of this man taking care of me sent a thrill through my body that I had almost forgotten was possible. It made my throat dry up a bit and my heart clench in almost a revival of hope. Perhaps Ian would not be the last person that was able to fix my life, after all, perhaps there was a chance of feeling the same freedom again. I reached out and took his hand. It was an odd gesture and the look on his face told me as much. "S-sorry," I stuttered, "I just, it's just," I looked down but he squeezed the hand that was holding his. "Just thank you," I whispered.

"I'm happy to help," he smiled and stood up. "Now you should get dressed," he smirked at me and that look sent a shock straight to my groin. He stared at me for a second and smiled shaking his head but didn't say anything else. Thank god that by some sort of blessing all of my inappropriate thoughts had stayed in my dreams where they had belonged, and that thanks to my 3 AM bathroom run my bladder wasn't full either or I might have died of embarrassment. Thankfully it was just my clean boxers, my fading six pack, and my mess of a mop on my head. I wanted to die of mortification as I quickly stood from the bed and went to grab my clothes, just my boxers! I froze when I looked at the place they had been last night.

"Where are my clothes?" I turned my head to look at him.

"You wore them yesterday they needed to be washed, so they're in for a short cycle in my dryer so they at least won't smell awful." He was leaning against the wall arms crossed looking more amused than I had yet seen him.

"Oh," I shifted uncomfortably not sure what to do with my body now. "Thanks," I tried to sound sincere but his snicker made me feel more like this was some odd hazing than a favor. "Why would Reiner be fired?" I asked trying to change the subject. Levi had made it pretty clear by not leaving right away that he wasn't going to let the trivial detail of me in only boxers chase him out of a room in his own home. In a lot of ways good for him, its his house and we're both adults but on the side of I was super uncomfortable screw him for not conforming to social norms.

"Because he called me earlier and I told him you hadn't slept in hours and you needed rest so not to bug you. I already got your address so on that front we're ahead of the game."

"Oh well thanks, I didn't look to see who it was. I'll call them back later, but I should get back to my place because I have to fill out a packet that Farlan sent me and I have to get my banking information and I don't even know where there's a Titan Investments in the area so I'm at a disadvantage." I was rambling and twirling my phone in my hands. I was more attracted to this man than I would have liked and standing almost literally naked in front of him was not helping me feel any stronger to face him. This was also the third time I had watched his eyes trace over my body and while I wasn't overly self-conscious about how I looked I could only assume he was being critical.

"There's a Titan Investments on the way to your apartment. But you will have to go inside to get the information you need. So I suggest that you borrow the brush under the sink for your hair, clean it after of course, toss some toothpaste onto your finger, don't even think about using my toothbrush, gargle some mouthwash and put some clothes on, when they're done of course," he snickered. "Then we'll stop by and you'll act like a normal adult and have them set up online banking for you too since you have a smartphone and there's no excuse for not handling your money properly."

"Oh yes, yes sir," I said and almost felt like I needed to salute or something equally ridiculous. He had everything so planned out and was completely in control. Even of how my morning was going to go. It was oddly comforting and I followed his instructions to a T. I was tempted to steal his toothbrush and steal as in, totally in a wanting a nice smile kind of way and not in the creepy want to have my mouth on something you've hand yours on, because that would be weird. But I didn't, he specifically told me his toothbrush was off limits and I was not daring enough to break his rules, so I did the best I could with my finger and some mouthwash.

I came out of the bathroom and he was in his kitchen, on his phone and sipping something out of a mug.

"Here," he slid a plate closer to me. There were two pieces of slightly blackened toast on it. "Your clothes are done and still in the dryer," he pointed to a closed door off to the side of the kitchen and I went over and took them out hurriedly putting them on, buttoning my shirt as I walked back over. "Shame," he mumbled as he went back to his phone.

"Thanks," I occupied the bar stool next to him and took a bite of the toast. "You didn't have to make me breakfast."

"It's toast it makes itself," that explains the black marks. "Besides you need to eat, you already have one unhealthy habit don't go confessing to more." I smiled as I ate the toast, he actually seemed to care, about me. It was an unusual but welcome feeling.

When I finished he stood up and stretched a bit before taking the plate, rinsing it and putting it into his dishwasher. "Let's get going then," he grabbed his keys out of a small bowl near his door and went into the garage. He unlocked the car and we both got in. The drive to the bank was leisurely and I was thankful he didn't insist on coming in because he would have caught me in another lie then. He texted once to see what was taking so long but I told him they just had some extra security measures because I was suddenly in a different town. In reality the clerk was probably opening the fastest bank account of her life. I'd walk down later today and deposit my two grand to make sure that it was somewhere more secure than my duffle bag. I had had a bank account before but it had been tied to my father's so he would have been able to track me down if I touched that account, I took everything I had out and took it when I left. So now it would be a clean cut, no ties back. Now the clerk was finishing up and giving me the direct deposit form. I convinced the bank to use an old picture, got my debit card in record time and headed back to the parking lot. Levi was leaning on his car on the phone, he waved to me before putting a little distance between us and finishing his conversation.

"What are you doing Friday?" Levi asked.

"I'm not sure, Connie mentioned maybe wanting to show me around. Nothing definite yet, though."

He nodded approvingly and climbed into the driver side and I was forced to get into the passenger or be left. The rest of the ride passed in mostly silence apart from the soft melodies of a violin over the car radio.

"Is this the place?" Levi asked as his car coasted into the parking lot of Reiner's apartment complex.

"This is it," I confirmed and got out of the car once he parked. He did something on his phone quickly and I felt my phone vibrate and I glanced at it from my pocket and saw his name. I looked at him questioningly and he smirked.

"So you have your address," he winked. I blushed, "close the door and go home," he instructed and I had no choice but to obey. Then he drove off and I smiled to myself a little. I opened his text. 'If lost please return to' then he listed his number and had my address pinned. I rolled my eyes but laughed. He was more charming than I could have imagined upon first meeting him.

I chewed my lip as I walked up the steps towards Reiner's apartment. Maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea ever to flirt with him. It would be kind of fun, and I would definitely enjoy myself. And if I got very very lucky, luckier than I deserved, he might even actually like me back. So I guess my mind was made up, it might really be time for my first public boyfriend, as long as I could successfully woo him.

I unlocked the door to Reiner's apartment and opened the door still thinking of Levi.

"Shit!" Reiner jumped off the couch faster than I could even think. I was startled at his sudden expletive and looked up. Reiner was looking away from me looking highly uncomfortable and a stranger sat on the couch. The stranger's hands were instantly covering his face and he was an obvious cherry red. It took my mind a second to process everything but Reiner looked like he was going to have an aneurysm. He was cursing up a storm and throwing his hands around, his anger was clear but I didn't understand what was going on.

"Reiner?" the other man's voice tried to reach out to him.

"Fuck Bertolt don't touch me right now." Reiner seemed physically disgusted with the other man. I tilted my head. So this was Bertolt. I thought Reiner had said friend but clearly, I had misunderstood.

"Reiner, what's wrong?" I asked forcefully, he was ignoring me and being rude to Bertolt, something had to be wrong.

"What's wrong? Ya fucking right Eren, give me a break," he was crossing the room towards me. Anger and bitterness were clear in his voice but his volume was the real alarming factor. Reiner was bigger than me in almost every sense of the word but that didn't mean I was going to let him throw his size around.

"What talk to me like a normal guy and maybe we can actually figure this out," I shouted back at him.

"God I mean I know I gave you a key but can't you at least knock or something first? I mean," he was running his fingers through his hair and pacing.

"Sure I can knock from now on, are you really this pissed I didn't knock, though?" my head was reeling.

"Ya, I mean of course why wouldn't I be! This, this just makes everything so," he was gesturing between him and Bertolt before putting his face in his hands and yelling. I was looking between them desperate to make a connection and understand. I felt so stupid and useless what the hell was the problem.

"Oh," I said suddenly. "Reiner," I said softly looking from an embarrassed Bertolt to a spiraling Reiner. "Reiner," I said a little more forcefully until he looked up and opened his fingers enough to see me through the new hole. "I'm gay."

Everything seemed to start fading. Reiner's hands slowly fell off his face, Bertolt turned from bright red to light pink.

"What?" Reiner managed.

I looked nervously between the two. "Ya my dad found out and we got into a huge fight, that's why I left." I shrugged awkwardly. I pointed to my black eye which I didn't have any makeup to cover, thank god the bank had let me use the picture off my driver's license. "I don't really care what you guys do as long as you clean whatever public space you do it on." Both of them were much more relaxed now. "Anyways I'm gonna go since you're busy, next time just shoot me a text. But I do have to shower before work so please be considerate of that and next time I'll pack a bag," I rolled my eyes as I closed the door and locked it. I stood outside debating if I should go back in for a change of clothes but I took my phone out and texted Reiner. He came out two minutes later, tossed me my gym bag, my workout shoes, and a change of clothes.

"Thanks," I said and headed off. I went down to the complex lobby and borrowed their bathroom to change in. I had some light blue jeans on and a plain green T. It was obvious Reiner hadn't known what to do with vests since the only one he threw in was a navy so I left it in the bag and decided not to let Reiner dress me ever. I finished off with my normal cover up before heading outside the bathroom.

I headed to a local internet cafe, jumped on one of the free computers and checked my email. I filled out the paperwork for Farlan and then printed it. I texted Reiner to see if he was ready to go to work or if I needed to call a cab. Thankfully he was ready and he picked me up on the way and together we headed in.

Just like Reiner had said, around seven o'clock the place was bursting at the seams. The assistant manager Oulo had some funny ideas about how to capitalize on the prime time too. He pulled out some tables and chairs and had set them up on the pier. I was tempted to text Levi the second I saw them, there were no table clothes and they didn't seem to fit with the rest of the decor. I was resolved to calling Levi after my shift when Oulo decided to top the brilliant idea off with putting all ten of the additional tables in mine and one other girl's section. So I was managing ten tables by myself on my second day, thank god there was at least a busboy or I would have been screwed. It didn't help that five tables were inside and five were outside either, that made things difficult at best. My tips were average but nothing that said, wow thanks. I really wished that Farlan was on, but at least tomorrow I wouldn't be here during the busy time so I likely wouldn't have to deal with as much.

But as the night went on we manage to get the tables used twice. The other server seemed more annoyed than I was about having the outside tables added to her section. She was cursing every time she had to make a trip outside. I was thankful when 9 hit and the tables were rendered unnecessary and put away. Ten o'clock came around lazily and with the restaurant officially closed those without patrons in their sections began cleaning up. I had two couples that I was still attending but I grabbed nearby table cloths and silverware as I passed by.

I finished with the two couples and walked them out when they were ready about 10:45. We locked the doors behind the last couple and finished cleaning quickly. I went to change out of my uniform and put my jeans and a t-shirt back on.

"Ready to go home?" Reiner asked.

"Ya, it's been a long day," I said and stretched.

I took my phone out as we walked along the pier towards the car. I had the usual calls and texts from Armin. I would actually call tonight, I promised myself. I saw another text though as I climbed into the car. One from Levi.

 _I hope your night was well. Please call me if you were put under any duress. I would, of course, make myself instantly available. Keep blades and nails away from your wrists and do eat a proper meal._

Nothing else but it was enough to make me smile like a fool.

"What's got a coat hanger stuck in your mouth?" Reiner asked.

I scoffed. "It's nothing," I lied and typed a quick reply.

 _Tonight was great, just surprised with the outside seating, I had ten tables at once T.T No blades or nails, I promise._

I hit send and knew I would have to push Levi out of my mind for now. While I was figuring out what I was going to say to Armin we pulled into the apartment complex.

"Hey I'm going to grab a drink with Bertolt, I'll be in later ok?"

"Sure no problem," I climbed out of the passenger. "I work lunch tomorrow at 11 is that an ok time to take me down or do you want me to call a cab?"

"Naw I'll take you, I'm not planning on getting wasted so I'll be fine waking up around 10."

"Thanks, Reiner," I smiled and closed his door and he drove off.

I walked to the second story, found 221 and opened the door. I thought of texting Reiner if I could borrow the bed until he got in but I didn't feel like being woken up at an ungodly hour. I had less than 11 hours until I had to be right back at the place I just left.

I changed out of my now dirty clothes and pulled on some boxers and a tank top. I laid down on the couch, not bothering with the TV and took my phone out. I had to put it on the charger since it was at 18% after not being charge last night either. It was the moment of truth, time to call Armin.

 **AN: I am so, so sorry for not being one but two days late! I had a lot of life hit me on Tuesday and Wednesday, next update will be on time. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy.**


	4. Armin

Armin

I was waiting while the phone rang. An insane part of me was worried that Armin wouldn't answer, or that when he did he'd be angry. I hoped that he wouldn't, he was one of my closest friends. One of my closest friends who I left without a word and hadn't spoken to since moving, I reminded myself.

"Eren!" his voice was urgent the moment he answered. "Oh thank god! I was terrified that something bad had happened to you. I've had to cover two of your shifts already, Carol is really not happy but I told her you were really sick, something with your throat so you couldn't call her. Eren where are you? I've gone over to your house every day but your mom just says you're gone, she won't tell me anything."

"She doesn't know anything Armin." I pulled a hand through my hair, this conversation would be harder than I thought. There were so many things to tie up still that I hadn't thought about, like Carol and the fact that I was leaving her short staffed as the holiday season approached. "And if I tell you, you can't say anything to her ok?"

"Eren," his voice was softer. "Eren something bad did happen didn't it?"

"Yes Armin, something bad happened." I was fighting an internal war. I had never explicitly told _anyone_ I was gay, until Reiner but that guy needed me to be gay more than anything. I always kind of had a feeling that Armin knew and felt deep down that even if he didn't he certainly wouldn't have been angry about it. But it was one of those face to face things. But if I told him everything else, I couldn't hold that detail back, especially because I might not get the chance to see him face to face.

"Eren you should have called me!"

"I almost did," I admitted. "But it was really bad, Armin," I tried to think of what to say first. "Armin I'm not even in Trost anymore," I heard him gasp.

"Where are you?"

"First you have to promise not to tell anyone ok? I'll call Carol and explain the situation as best I can tomorrow. I'm sorry you've been covering my shifts."

"I promise I won't tell," I could hear him drop his voice low. Armin was such a good friend. My heart ached for his companionship again.

"My dad and I got into another fight. But this one was really bad, worse than any of the others," I could hear Armin's breath catch and heard some sort of pained noise from him. He had seen me after some of the other run ins with my dad, getting caught after sneaking out, failing a test, getting a D for mid-semester grades. None of the confrontations ended with me looking pretty, but this one really had been the worst. "My dad found out something about me, I'll tell you what but, but if it makes you hate me then just please hang up ok? You can feel however you want but I've heard so many things already I just, I can't image you hating me too, so just, hang up ok? I won't call again if you do."

"Eren I could never hate you," he said.

"Armin please," I begged again.

"Ok, if somehow you manage to tell me something I can't handle, I will hang up. But it won't happen Eren."

I longed to see my childhood friend again. His words gave me so much strength it was amazing. "My dad found out I'm gay, and he beat the crap out of me for it. One of the neighbors called the police and I bolted. I came back at like 3 AM and packed a bag, bought a train ticket and moved out to where I'm at now."

"Eren, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that your dad treated you that way when he found out. It's just so," he was clearly choked up about it. Thank God for people like Armin. "It's so awful. No wonder you didn't answer my calls. Eren I'll always love you," he said earnestly. "Eren you know that right?" He sounded desperate for an answer but I couldn't speak. My hand was covering my mouth to muffle the sobs. Was this what coming out was supposed to feel like? I shook violently as I laid on the couch trying to control myself. Through teary eyes, I struggled to change Armin to a facetime call since his voice was rising with worry at my inability to answer.

"Oh Eren," tears brimmed his eyes too. "Don't cry! You know when you cry I cry." I choked on a sob, laugh combo. "Eren it's ok," he sounded a little flustered like he was uncomfortable in some way. "I wish I could be there with you," he lamented, staring at his phone, it seemed he was clutching it with both hands. "Did you find somewhere to stay ok?"

I nodded and took a few deep breaths. "I, I'm staying with Reiner."

"The track guy from our rival high school?" Armin sounded surprised.

"Ya, we had trained together a few times and I knew he lived out here. I bought my train ticket the night it happened and came out the next morning."

"Does he have a big house or what?"

"No it's just an apartment, I'm staying on the couch for now. But he already got me a job and he has a car that he's willing to take me back and forth to work in. So I don't complain about the couch."

"No, I understand that. Do you have enough money and everything?"

"I came out with the savings I had before, about two grand, a little over. I basically drained my bank account. I should've taken some from my dad too but I didn't want to hurt mom that way. It's not enough for a place of my own but once I start getting a paycheck from my new job I think I'll be ok."

Armin was quiet for a long time and I knew from experience that meant he was trying to make a pretty big decision. I didn't want to interrupt him so I just stayed on the line staring at his eyebrows make different motions and his mouth twist and even out then bite his lip then stick his tongue out. It was funny, endearing, felt a lot like home. "Hey Armin I'll be right back, there was a knock I think Reiner must have left his keys or something."

"K," Armin mumbled distractedly. I got up off the couch and got the door. I was surprised to see a winded and red-cheeked Levi standing at my doorway.

"Hi," I said curiously. "Are you ok?" I took in his disheveled state. He was in a light jacket that was falling off one shoulder, a tight white tank top, and some sweat pants. I almost laughed when I noticed his bare feet to top the look off.

"Is Reiner home?" he asked.

"No," I shook my head.

"Good," he reached up and grabbed the side of my face and launched his body up so his lips crashed onto mine. I was so surprised by the attack that I found myself falling backward. One arm shot out and grabbed the doorway to steady myself and the other grabbed his waist pulling him up into me. It didn't take me long to respond and the kiss was heated, his tongue forceful and raging with dominance. He forced his way into the apartment and shut the door behind him.

"Where's your bed," he broke the kiss and was reaching for the bottom of my shirt. I grabbed his hands and he froze looking up at me. "I'm sorry," he said automatically.

"I sleep on the couch," I told him praying that my phone with Armin's innocent face wasn't still sitting there. It was but the screen was dark. Thank God for Armin, I tried not to smile.

"The couch," his face scrunched up.

"I was an unexpected house guest, I'm lucky to have somewhere that's not the floor." He sighed and I released his hands at the smallest hint of resistance and he swept one through his messy hair. Usually, it was slicked back, showing off the buzzed sides, but now it was loose and all over, falling beautifully over hazed and clouded eyes.

"How do you feel about a hotel?" he asked. My eyebrow arched. Was he...soliciting me?

"What do you want a hotel for?" I asked.

"Please don't play stupid, I'm really just not in the mood," he glared at me.

"You showed up in the middle of the night at my house, shoved your tongue down my throat, barged in, complained about my sleeping quarters, then asked me to go to a hotel with you. Oh and you're my boss, I think a few clarifying questions are in order," I tried not to sound snotty but also wanted him to understand that I had questions and they weren't crazy.

"Ok, ok, fine. Yes, I showed up unexpected but am I wrong in assuming that you're attracted to me?" he stared at me dead in the eye like this was a question I got all the time.

"You're my boss!" was the only thing I could even think to say.

"I'm aware of that. If you tell me you don't wish to get involved sexually or otherwise, I would, of course, stop. I'm not your immediate boss so there's no conflict of interest."

I swallowed hard. The hardening bulge in my pants was already answering the question for me. Of course, I was attracted to him, but should I really be that bold as to just come out and say it. I mean what did this mean for afterward. Was it one night? A regular thing that stopped at sex? Or more? Was he looking for more the same way I was? I shook my head, he was here kissing me looking for a bed, it was obvious what he wanted.

I nodded, "Yes, I am," I admitted.

"So, are you opposed to going to a hotel then?"

"I'm flat broke," I admitted. "I've got a paycheck coming but even then I'm not in a place to drop 60 bucks on a one night stand. I don't have any credit cards and unless you plan on inviting the receptionist up with us I think that checks off just about all the options."

He growled. "I never said you had to pay. And it would certainly cost more than 60 bucks I said hotel, not a sleazy hourly motel."

I arched an eyebrow and crossed my arms. "You're telling me that you want to rent a nice room for the night specifically to have sex in?"

"Not just for sex," he rolled his eyes. "I'm going to sleep there after too."

"If you're fine with leaving the apartment why don't we just go to your place?"

"My place is off limits," his hissed in a way that told me not to bring it up again. "But you are willing?" he asked in a gentler tone.

I took my hand threw my hair. "Ya just let me grab my bag, I have work at 11 tomorrow so that means you'll have to take me."

"Not a problem," he fished his keys out of his pocket. "Any other conditions?"

"Nope," I grabbed my bag from out of the closet, where it was hopefully mostly out of Reiner's way. I took a pair of jeans out of the bag and pulled them on, leaving the tank top. "You're not the only one having a shitty week." I walked out of the apartment, waited for him to follow suit and then turned to lock it. As we walked to his car, not the Bugatti but a Tesla, I texted Reiner that I wouldn't be home. A second later my phone screen was lit up with his picture.

"Hang on," I tapped Levi's arm, he looked annoyed but didn't climb into the car just yet. I answered the call. "Hey man what's up?"

"Eren!" he was practically yelling.

"Ya man? You ok?"

"I need you to come get me," he was slurring badly.

"Aw Reiner, you said you were only going to have one," I cursed my bad luck. Maybe a good fuck was exactly what I needed to get my head straight and Reiner was ruining the whole thing.

"I know, I know," he sounded distressed. "But, it's Bertolt. We got into a fight and he said he's not sure he wants to be with me anymore. We're on a break Eren," he was clearly upset.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said earnestly. "Ok, where are you? I'll come get you," Levi shot me a look and I rolled my eyes and shrugged my shoulders. Hopefully, he wanted me just as badly as I wanted him and he would put up with a brief intermission.

"I'm at a bar a little ways down, I'll shoot you a pin, man I'm sorry you're going to have to come all the way here."

"Well you lucked out, I might actually have a ride. Send me the pin right now ok?"

"Ya ok," he hung up and I looked at Levi.

"Reiner got into a fight and is upset, he needs me to come pick him up. It's just down the street and-" Levi held his hand up.

"Nevermind kid," he said shaking his head. "I was stupid to come here anyways. You don't have to make up lies."

"Did you not hear the very real conversation I just had?"

"I heard a lot of really vague answers. It's fine," he said. "I misread you, it happens."

"You didn't misread anything," I came around the car, dropping my things by the passenger side. I grabbed the side of his face with one hand and kissed him in the chill night air. "I want this too, I just can't be a shitty friend to the guy who took me in with no notice."

"Maybe another night," he smirked and got into his car. He slithered in like a snake and was gone just a second later. I cursed, guess the day could get worse after all. I grabbed my bag from the other side of the empty parking space and went upstairs to toss it. I pulled my jeans off and traded them for running shorts and pulled my tennis shoes on.

I took my phone out and searched Reiner's pin. I texted him that I was coming on foot and would be there soon. I shoved my phone into the zipper pocket of my pants and took off in the direction the GPS sent me. My mind was racing as I followed the directions from my pocket. Levi came to kiss me. After he kissed me he wanted to do more than that. He was even willing to rent a hotel room to be with me. He was also willing to drive me to work tomorrow. But somehow the only thing he wasn't willing to do was wait. It seemed that he had come on an impulse, which was my bad luck. Reiner would definitely owe me one. I had lost a shot with the man I couldn't stop thinking about. The only man in ages who had made me think I could forget about Ian. I was disheartened to think that he wasn't as attracted to me as I was to him. That he wasn't willing to wait twenty minutes to grab an intoxicated Reiner.

I reached the bar and pulled out my phone to stop the directions. While I had it out I went into the messages with Levi.

 _I just picked up Reiner, headed back to my apartment...let me know if you change your mind._

I didn't want to come off too desperate but I really did want to see him. I walked into the bar, collected Reiner, got him into the passenger and drove the five minutes to his apartment.

"Thanks, man," Reiner mumbled as I took his shoes off, took his shirt off, undid his jeans and helped him into his bed.

"No problem," I told him and went back to the couch. Levi hadn't texted me back so, for now, I guess that was the end of it. I laid down on the couch, I would not let for now turn into forever. He made the first move, I'd make the second. I went to bed and dreamed of Levi, his hands on me, his mouth on me, of the night I should have had.

I woke up to my alarm going off at 9. I must have gone to sleep sometime around 2 in the morning so the 9 AM wake up was pretty unwelcome. I was quick to turn it off so Reiner could get as much rest as possible from his likely hang over. I checked my phone, no text from Levi but I had some from Armin.

 _Hey, Eren I really want to talk when you have the chance. Call me ASAP._

 _Sorry, I'm texting at like 3 AM that was dumb._

 _Have a good night. I'll be up late so if you could call in the afternoon that'd be great._

 _Love you Eren. We'll talk soon._

I smiled seeing Armin's string of texts. I went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I opened our messages and sent one back before hopping in.

 _Hey, Armin I work 11 to 4 so I'll call when I'm off._

I was tempted to call Levi but I restrained myself. He didn't text me back last night so it was obvious I wasn't going to get anything out of him until I saw him in person. I took a quick shower, dried my hair, applied some makeup and then went into the living room to grab some clothes. It wasn't even 10 yet so I went into the kitchen intending to have breakfast but Reiner wasn't really well supplied. So I grabbed my wallet, and my workout bag, shoving the two grand in it, and headed out. I made the ten minute walk to the bank first and deposited the two grand into my new account, the lady looked a little concerned at the large amount of cash.

"Graduation gift from my grandparents," I smiled disarmingly at her and she visibly relaxed as she took the cash. I thanked her and made my way out into the little plaza nearby. There was a little bakery, a donut shop, and a little cafe. The cafe seemed like the perfect breakfast spot if you weren't alone, but I was so I went into the bakery instead.

"Good morning," a friendly girl with pigtails greeted me.

"Good morning," I replied as I browsed the cases.

"How are you doing today?" she was leaning on her arms on the case staring down at me.

"Pretty good, just looking for breakfast before heading out to work." A croissant sounded pretty good. They had a chocolate one that looked really good but I wasn't sure it would make for the healthiest of breakfasts.

"We have some bagels that are really good, the jalapeno cheddar is a great wake-up call." She laughed and seemed to lean even farther over the counter. "Or mini pies and we can add whipped cream."

"Mina give the guy some space," a man walked in and peeled her off the counter. "Besides the next batch of cookies is burning." She squealed and scrambled off.

"Cookies?" I stood up and looked at him.

"Ya, we've got chocolate chip, sugar, peanut butter, and snickerdoodle."

"Can I get one of each and a croissant." My eyes lingered on the chocolate but with cookies too I needed some sort of nutrition to my breakfast. "And toss in a glazed donut, I'm about to wake up a hungover roommate."

"Hopefully the glaze works for you," he chuckled and tossed it all in. "That'll be 8.85," he rung it up on an old-fashioned cash register. What a cool machine. I took a ten out of my pocket.

"Keep the rest," I grabbed the bag and waved after him as I left. He was kind of cute, he was blonde though and that usually wasn't my type. I much preferred dark hair like Levi's. I inhaled thinking of him again. Levi. I kind of couldn't wait until 4, once I was off Reiner would be working so I'd have to walk anyways, but I wasn't going to go home, nope, I was going to head to Levi's. It would take me awhile to walk there but I would bring my running shoes and some gym clothes. I walked back to the apartment while eating my cookies. I still had my croissant to eat on the drive. I took my now empty bag and put some clothes into it for the run down and for afterwards so I wasn't disgusting when I saw him.

"Reiner," I opened the door to his bedroom to find him passed out sideways on his bed, one leg hanging over. He was clutching a pillow closely and I could not see his face at all. "Reiner," I said a little louder and walked over to tap his leg. "Wake up, I need to get to work." He groaned. "Come on," I shook his leg more and his head popped out from under the pillow.

"I don't want to. Drive yourself."

"If you didn't have work afterward with not enough time for me to pick you up and drop you off I would, but you do so let's go." He grumbled again but got up.

"I'm going in this," he announced tossing the sheets off.

"Your call buddy," I grabbed my croissant out of the bag and handed the bag to him. "I got you breakfast."

"Thanks man," Reiner took the bag and peered inside and smiled. We walked to the front door and exited together, I took care of the lock since he just kept heading to the truck. I took the stairs two at a time and joined him in the truck, throwing my bag in first. I half hoped when we arrived Levi would be there but I would have to learn some patience. I worked my shift and even though lunch dragged more than dinner it passed quickly enough.

"Hey Eren," Connie called as I finished changing and was on my way out.

"Ya, what's up?" I asked pulling my backpack on and tightening the straps so they were flush against my arms.

"Do you want to get dinner tonight?" He asked.

"You know Connie I'm busy tonight but how about tomorrow?" I planned to give Levi any amount of time that he wanted from me. I didn't want to have to leave suddenly because I had made plans with someone.

"Ok sounds great! My girlfriend didn't get tomorrow off anyways so it'll be nice to have someone to hang out with on a Friday night."

"Great, you can tell me all about her," I smiled and waved as I headed out. I ran along the beautiful coastal road. There were a lot of runners along the beach, the good news was since it was such a popular area there would likely be some sort of sidewalk for me to run along the entire way to Levi's house. The closer I got the more excited I was. My legs were holding up better than I gave them credit for, there was some light burning in the muscles but overall I was managing pretty well. It had been a long time since I had run anything close to this distance so if light pain was all I had to deal with it was truly a blessing. It took about an hour from when I left the restaurant to when I could see his house. I suddenly got really nervous and anxious. I found one of the public beach restrooms and popped inside. I took a rag I brought and wet it in the sink, went into the big stall and stripped down. I took the rag over most of my body and some paper towel to dry it. My hair, unfortunately, was kind of a lost cause so I ruffled it with the paper towels but it would have to due. I changed into my jeans and 'God of War' t-shirt. The 'God of War' shirt was an interesting choice, it had a lot of color on it actually making it one of my t-shirts that had some personality to it. I tossed the wet rag into a Ziploc and then threw my old clothes and the bag into the backpack and finished the last section at a walk. My heart was pounding and I had a huge stupid grin on my face.

I reached his driveway and took a deep breath. I thought for a second that maybe I should call him first but there was no point in coming all the way down here just to call. So I raised my hand and knocked on the door.

I was shocked into silence as a different man answered it. This man was tall and well built, handsome in every way except for his overly large eyebrows, someone should tell him to get those waxed. His hair was golden and in every way I could see, he was the complete opposite of me.

"Uh, sorry to bother you," I stammered not sure what to say. "I was looking for," did I say Levi? I hadn't actually said his name yet, usually just sir but this guy wouldn't know who sir was. Maybe Mr. Ackerman? But that sounded so formal. "Mr. Ackerman," thanks mouth.

"Sure what's it about?" the man tilted his head to the side. Was this guy his maid or something?

"Um, Farlan asked me to come."

"Oh sure," he seemed to brighten. "Hey babe-"

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 _Hey babe_

 _Hey babe_

 _Hey babe_

 _Hey babe_

 _Hey babe_

 _Hey babe_

"Eren?" Levi was at the door his eyes looked a little wide and his entire posture said he was on edge. I came back to myself and looked at him. I opened my mouth and tried to form words.

"I'm sorry," I said and I felt my heart aching as I talked. So stupid Eren, you are so, so stupid. "Farlan asked me to come out here to see if you had time to get dinner tonight. He knows that sometimes things come up though, so said not to worry about it if you couldn't. I was in the area and his phone was acting up. He said it'll be fixed in a few hours, so just call him and let him know." Fighting back tears. What a fool. "That was it," I shrugged and turned.

"Eren," Levi called out and I sprinted off.

Hey babe.


	5. Running

Running

I had heard the car pull out when I wasn't nearly as far away as I had liked to be. It was harder to run in jeans so I headed back to the bathroom and went straight into the stall. The floor was gross and was wet everywhere. I took my jeans off, fighting to get them over my shoes without taking my shoes off. The struggle nearly reduced me to tears but finally the pants were off. I pulled my running shorts on and wanted to just take off but, I couldn't.

I would be lying to myself if I said that I was ok. I had built Levi up to be this perfect person for me. That somehow this man I had only met a handful of times could get rid of my first love, my parent issues, my loneliness, my gay shame, and could masterfully handle and manipulate my desire to be controlled but cared for. It was too much for any one person to do, and somewhere deep inside, I had known that all along. The problem now was that I felt very alone and I had no one I could go to. Ian had been out of the question for a long time. Armin was hours away, Mikasa farther than that, Reiner was at work and my mom...my sweet loving mother, who I had surely caused quite a bit of emotional pain to, she was trapped with my father, and more out of reach than she had ever been to me.

I managed to find the strength to leave the bathroom but I didn't have it in me to run anymore. So I walked along the sidewalk and headed for what would undoubtedly be an hour plus walk home. I took my phone out and thought of calling Mikasa, it had been too long since I had heard her voice, but I knew that she was happy and I didn't want to disturb the perfect little picture she had built for herself with bad news that would only bring her down. I didn't call very much and if the first time I called in awhile was with bad news she'd never forgive me. I decided I would call Armin back though, we didn't get to finish talking last night. Because Levi, who had a boyfriend, had solicited me in the middle of our conversation.

Damn, I didn't want to be thinking about him. Ok no more talk of him, I'm going to push him out of my mind. Reiner said it was unusual for him to stop by the restaurant so I would just make a point of being extremely busy when he did come in. Crap what about Saturday. I was supposed to drive down to his other restaurant with him. I would just, call a cab, it would be an expensive cab ride but it would be worth it to be away from him. I would call Farlan, tell him that I was taking a cab. He would probably want a reason but I could think of one later. One that was better than, I don't want to see our boss, your friend, who I had a major crush on who solicited me for sex and then I found out he had a boyfriend.

Wait, that was a really good point. Was I just going to overlook the fact that he, someone involved in a relationship, had shown up at my house, kissed me! Then asked me to go to a hotel with him. I mean sure somewhere between his tongue in my mouth and the drive to get Reiner he grew a conscience but that didn't excuse his cheating. I shook my head, it didn't matter because he and I were no longer involved in anyway, and never would be again aside from boss and employee.

I wasn't really losing anything, I tried to remind myself. After all, there was never anything between us, to begin with. Just some hopes, but those are easy to let go of, at least hypothetically. I dialed Armin's number and waited for him to pick up.

"You said you'd call around four."

"Hello to you too," I chuckled.

"Well," he said clearly upset.

"I'm sorry, I thought I had something important to do, but, it was just a waste of my time."

Armin sighed. "Well, what happened last night anyways? I saw some guy at your door, then he kissed you!" Armin exclaimed. "I waited to see but you looked happy about it so I just hung up. Did he stay the night?"

"No, everything with him went in a really bad direction. I thought I liked him and it seemed like he liked me too but right after you hung up he asked me to go to a hotel with him for the night. Then Reiner called and needed to be picked up and he just took off, said he didn't want to wait around, that it was a mistake. I was hurt but I didn't stop him. I went over to see him today and that's when I found out that," I hesitated, not sure I wanted to tell Armin the next part. Armin was my closest friend and if I told Armin that Levi used me to cheat...it was like shutting the door on us. Because Armin would never forgive Levi for that which meant that even if years down the road we somehow did end up together, Armin would always be wary that he would cheat on me. "He...he didn't feel the way I thought he did. He said it was a mistake."

"Oh Eren," Armin's voice was pained. "I'm so sorry," I could hear him pacing around. "Oh no that's probably what you just found out too, and I made you feel even worse about it. I'm so sorry Eren. Here let's not talk about it anymore. I have something else I wanted to talk about anyways."

"Ok go for it," I waited.

"Well, and I've thought a lot about this ok, so don't go trying to convince me out of it or anything ok?"

"Ok," I said warily.

"I'm going to drive down to Karanes tomorrow. I'm going to move there too."

"What? Armin no you don't have to do this!" I was instantly panicked. I couldn't take away the great life Armin had just to be out here with me.

"Eren you promised," he groaned. "At least hear me out ok? I'm not saying it's just for you, you're a large factor of course but, there are other reasons too. I've looked into the area and there are a lot of jobs in business. There are a lot of companies based out of here and that would give me the opportunity to get into the corporate world. I could start low but I think eventually I could work my way up. And Mikasa already left and none of us really keep in touch anymore, but you...Eren you're like my brother. I can't imagine being so far apart when we don't have to be. I want to be there with you."

"Armin are you sure? What about your parents?"

"I've talked with them and I didn't tell them you were there, I said there are a lot of business opportunities and I want to take advantage of them. My dad and I found some companies in the area to apply to and I've submitted applications and some of them want to schedule an interview. I can't very well do that a few hours away. So I'm coming, and I need my car because I have to get to work so I'm driving. And on top of that, well, I could really use a roommate when I get down tomorrow."

"What? Really?"

"Ya, I mean we used to talk about it all the time and I'd rather do it before we don't have the opportunity anymore, don't you think?"

"Ya Armin that sounds-"

"Eren!" I turned to the sound of my name and saw Levi pulling his expensive Tesla to the curb.

"Oh shit, Armin I've gotta run but I'll call you as soon as I can." I slammed my phone shut and bolted.

"Eren!" I heard behind me. I didn't stop I just pushed my muscles harder. My backpack wasn't as tight as I liked it when I ran and I was worried it might fall off. I did my best to hook one of my thumbs through a loop to hold it onto my back better. I was glad that I was running the opposite way of traffic so he couldn't just pull up alongside me and coast. I kept running until my legs burned and I stopped and looked behind me. There was no sign of him, I had put in a good fifteen minutes of a sprint and my legs were protesting viciously. I rubbed them and went to sit in the sand for a second.

"I finally caught up to you," I heard his voice a second before I felt his hand grasping my arm. He hauled me up easily and started walking to his car that I had somehow not heard come up. I tried to pull away but he had a surprisingly strong grip. "Stop struggling, it was a pain in the ass to keep up with your pace and I don't feel like having to take my car in early to get serviced because you decide to turn into Usain Bolt. Get in," he unlocked his car and held the passenger door open.

God, I made bad life choices, I slid into the passenger side. He came around the side and gracefully got in before taking the wheel and revving the engine to life.

"Why did you run away?"

"That's not a serious question right?" I looked at him unamused. "Because if it is I'd rather jump out of this car than keep talking."

"I understand that maybe you were a little...surprised," he hesitated and I snorted. "But still I called after you, you should have stopped."

"You have a boyfriend, why in the hell would I stop? Why would I even want to talk with you?"

"Things aren't going great right now," he admitted, he kept his focus on the road.

"Maybe because you leave in the middle of the night to solicit people who don't know you're in a relationship."

"It's not something I make a habit out of," he said and had the decency to seem ashamed of his actions. "I was really upset last night, and when I was talking with you before, I don't know, it seemed like you understood me. I know that's stupid because we talked about you mostly. But it was so normal and natural. Not at all what talking with some of the other suicidal people has been like. It was just normal and natural, I was really nervous too about having you over afterwards but it felt very warm. I enjoyed having you in my space rather than stressing about the fact that you might move something or get it dirty. I didn't mind because maybe if you chipped a cup or left a stain then I would have some piece of you in my house. God I must sound mental," he was running one hand through his hair. "Look Erwin and I will already be fighting because I ignored him and ran after you, can you please at least do something with me? I don't care what it is, I'll pay, I just, I…" he hesitated.

"I don't think it would be proper for us to be alone together, considering," I said looking out the window and refusing to check to see if his face fell or not, despite how desperately I wanted to know.

"I don't want to be alone," he said softly. His voice tugged at my heart and I couldn't resist stealing a look. He was looking straight ahead at the road but the lines of his face seemed soft.

I sighed. "Fine, take me wherever you want. I have to make a phone call though because you interrupted me talking to a good friend twice now." I saw him nod and I took my phone out of my pocket.

"Eren," Armin picked up after only one ring. "Are you ok?"

"Ya I'm fine, I didn't mean to worry you."

"Of course I was worried you just hung up and you haven't called me back and didn't text me that you were alright. What happened?"

"I ran away from someone but they caught up to me. I don't think it's a bad thing but I'm just confused right now. But I wanted to call you back and tell you that I would definitely meet up with you when you get here tomorrow and we can go apartment hunting."

"Well at least that's good news," he seemed happy. "And we can talk about this guy you aren't sure about either."

"Sounds like a plan Armin."

"Well as long as you're ok I'll let you leave now."

"Ya I'm ok," I promised and we hung up.

"Who was that," he seemed to be trying not care but his voice was strained a little.

"Childhood friend," I put my phone in my pocket. "He's coming to town tomorrow and he asked if I would be his roommate. So we're going to look at apartments in the area tomorrow."

He nodded. "Ok just tell me where you end up and I can make sure to move you to the location nearest that area."

"Oh," I was genuinely startled. "Ok, sure, thank you." I was quiet for a minute before I decided to be bold. "Why didn't you text me back last night?" I asked. He sighed audibly.

"I should have, I apologize." I waited but that seemed like all he was going to say.

"I didn't ask for an apology," I said. "In fact, I don't particularly care if you're sorry or not, what I do care about is why you didn't text me." He seemed shocked by this.

"I," he paused but I waited patiently, I felt that this time he would answer me, he just needed a moment to collect his thoughts. "I felt like you had rejected me."

"No, try again, I told you I just had to pick up Reiner. I even asked you to come with me."

He grumbled. "I...I'm very attracted to you Eren. More so than I should be. I was worried that if I got involved with you I might not be able to go back to fix things with Erwin."

"So what's changed?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're essentially taking me out on a captive date right now. Obviously, something has changed. Or you haven't realized you're making the same mistake."

"I, Erwin and I, our relationship is...complex." He seemed to be picking his words carefully. "Which means that whether I stay or whether I end things it will be complicated. It's difficult to explain to someone who isn't involved. But me taking you out right now or sleeping with you last night, it doesn't necessarily end things between me and him. It simply gives us something else we have to discuss."

"So he's good at forgiveness?" I was more than a little lost by this conversation.

"No, not at all," Levi seemed bitter. "Like I said, it's complicated so it might be best if I don't go into details."

"Ok that's fine, but now I have another question. You just said that what we're doing now and what we could have done last night wouldn't have ended the relationship. And yet your reason for not texting me back was because you might not have gone back to Erwin."

"You're very sharp Eren," he seemed caught between impressed and annoyed. "Erwin and I are fighting at the moment. He did something I didn't strictly approve of. It lead to a very bad argument and in a fit I left. Of course I had you on my mind so when I went for a drive I just sort of ended up at your door." _Of course I had you on my mind_ he said it like it was the most true thing in all the earth. Right up there with: the world is round, we rotate around the sun, the sky was up, the ground was down, Levi was thinking about Eren. It was an odd sensation to know he had been thinking of me but it was warm and happy. It made me want to know more. "But as I left, I knew I was making a choice. I was closing the door on us. I was putting Erwin first, which I knew would make him happy." I nodded not sure what else to say. "But, it doesn't change the pull that I feel when I'm around you. Even telling him this morning that I hadn't done anything, the happiness on his face, it didn't make me feel the same as it used to." He hesitated, "but even just seeing you, it's like my world lights up. Even just the briefest conversation with you Eren."

"But why?" I couldn't help but blurt out. I was a little embarrassed by it actually but it was out now. "Why do you feel this way, we've never even been involved. In fact, we haven't even known each other that long. I don't understand how you can feel this pull or something," I looked towards him.

"So you don't feel it then?" he looked crestfallen.

"I feel something but I'm more inclined to call it lust."

"Lust is a start I suppose," he still sounded disappointed.

"I'm not trying to hurt you here or anything but we haven't even been out on a date, hell until last night I wasn't even sure if you were gay. Then you just left, and today apparently I met your boyfriend. We haven't even been involved I'm not sure why you would think I would have such deep feelings for you."

"Guess it was wishful thinking. But I could take you on a date now," his eyes slid anxiously over to me.

"Things aren't the same today as they were yesterday. You have a boyfriend and now I know. Before I didn't know what I was agreeing to, as far as helping you cheat goes. Now, though, I couldn't do that in good faith."

"Just forget about Erwin."

"I can't just forget about your boyfriend, I'd feel guilty about it all the time."

"But why?" he sounded frustrated.

"Because I'm not looking to destroy your relationship."

"I already told you that things between Erwin and I wouldn't be over if you and I got involved. I would just have to talk with him about it."

"What about me?" I asked and he took his eyes off the road for a second to cast me a confused look. It read loud and clear 'what about you'. "I mean, what if I don't want you seeing anyone else?" I wasn't ashamed of what I said so it came out loud and clear.

"Oh," he tilted his head a little, his cheeks flushed suddenly as if he hadn't considered this option.

We drove in silence for a while after that. We were in a different part of the city than I had yet to see. We were closer to Levi's neighborhood, though we had passed his house awhile ago.

"Here," Levi pulled into a parking lot. I looked over at him confused but followed his lead as he got out of the car.

"Where are we?" I asked looking at a restaurant there was no way I was dressed to go into.

"It's owned by a friend of mine. The steaks are delicious. I understand that you might not be willing to consider this a date just yet, after what you told me. But I think I would like to see what being with you in a similar situation would be like before I end a relationship of six years."

"Six years?" I gaped at him. "If you're even the half way positive you can work things out with him you should go back. Six years is just, it's such a long time. To just walk away from it, I, I don't think I could ask you to do that for me."

"But you aren't," he said. "I'm choosing to do it."

"No," I shook my head. "You choosing to do it would be you ending it last night, or this morning, or even if we didn't do this. By me agreeing to go in there with you I'm partially forcing you into ending things. I don't want that," I looked at him dead in the eyes. "I hadn't even decided if I wanted a full relationship with you when you solicited me last night. I might have thought it would have been nice but me asking no questions before agreeing to go with you, that was me saying relationship or no, I wanted your body. It's different."

"Then what do I do Eren?" he sounded desperate.

I felt bad for him, really I did. "You take some time, probably away from him, definitely away from me. And figure out what you want. If it's him cool, there's nothing wrong with that. If it's me, well call, I'd love to go on a date," I smiled at him. "But you have to figure it out for you."

He looked very dejected, it was odd seeing someone who looked more broken than me. "And you're sure you don't want me if I have him?" he looked at me.

"I think that there are people who could want that," I said. "But I'm still so inexperienced in just about every kind of relationship, I don't think I would be any good at it."

"You could try," he sounded like he was begging.

"I mean," my voice was coming out more unsure than I would have liked.

"Let me call him, then you can meet him and he can explain everything. Please Eren, at least make an informed decision. Isn't that what you were saying to me?"

"Well yes I was but-"

"So don't you owe yourself the same thing?" I was starting to get lost inside of his reasoning and his swimming blue eyes were like a hurricane building. He was desperate, and I knew what that felt like. So maybe the next action came out of sympathy, instead of stupidity, I kind of liked to think so. I felt my own problems slowly start to come back, could feel the chains wrapping around me, encircling me and begin weighing me down, somewhere in my conversation with Levi they had all vanished, but they were back now. The locks were clicking and the different problems began pulling me down rapidly.

"Ya ok," I whispered.

"I'll call him," Levi seemed to be closer to his old self. Odd that it seemed impossible for us both to be healthy at the same time.

I looked down at my wardrobe, either way, we couldn't have dinner here, I was still in running shorts and a 'God of War' t-shirt. I would look ridiculous inside of such a nice place, I would look ridiculous anywhere actually but this would be worse. Maybe I could convince him to go to like McDonald's or something.

"He wants to talk to you," Levi was holding his phone out. He startled me and I looked at him with wide eyes. 'What?' I mouthed to him. "It's going to be a complicated relationship he just wants to be sure you understand that."

"I don't understand any of it," I said as lowly as I could.

"Then he'll explain it," Levi hissed and shoved the phone into my hand. He walked away after that so I couldn't even argue.

"H-hello?" I hated that my voice choose that moment to falter.

"Levi didn't lie, you do sound quite young." I wasn't sure what to say to that so I didn't say anything. "Eren was it?"

"Yes."

"I'm Erwin."

"Levi told me."

"I see, what else did he tell you?"

"Just that he wanted the three of us to be in some sort of relationship, that starting things with me didn't mean ending things with you and that he wanted both. Other than that not much," I almost said that I knew they were fighting but that felt a little personal.

"Yes that's true," he sounded very patient, like the dad type to the extreme. "Did he tell you the nature of our relationship?"

"I don't know what you mean," I said.

"Then he didn't. That might be for the best, I'd like to speak with you tonight Eren, all three of us, is that something you would allow?"

"I mean, I told Levi I would at least listen to this side of it, so yes, I would allow that."

"Very good then, I told Levi that he should still take you out tonight, spend some time with you so he's sure this is what he wants. It's a very complicated situation to get into if he's not sure, I hope you understand."

"As much as I can, yes."

"Good, thank you for being so patient with him. It means more than you know." I could hear a bit of hesitation in his voice before he spoke next. "Levi is most likely going to offer to buy you some clothes, it is my sincerest hope that you would allow him to. It is something that you would need to become accustomed with anyways, you won't understand why until after we speak tonight, but it would be extremely helpful if you would."

"I don't need him to spend his money on me."

"In an odd way, he's the one who needs to do it Eren. I won't force you to, you'll find that I won't force you to do anything, instead, I'm merely asking you to be open minded. If you still feel you cannot accept it at the end of the night then you can give the clothes back. But what's wrong with enjoying something nice for a night?"

It was an odd request, at least the way he phrased it, to allow myself to be pampered for the night. He was right, it didn't sound too hard but, taking money from someone, didn't that make me like a gold digger or something.

"It would bring Levi an inexpressible joy Eren." His voice was so complicated, he was strange in so many ways, it was like he was trying to seduce me into the idea, or maybe lull me to sleep by it, I hadn't ever heard anything like his voice before.

"Ok," I said lowly, almost a ghost of a noise.

"Fantastic, I'll see you tonight then. Can you hand me back to Levi?"

"Uh, yes," I looked around for him and saw him talking with the host. I felt awkward even walking towards the restaurant so I gave him his phone and quickly made a retreat as if saying, I know I don't belong here please don't judge me. I climbed into the car and it felt much safer. I felt like there was warmth and security inside of it that were absent from the rest of the world.

"Good you're here," Levi said as he opened the door. "Buckle up," he instructed cooly, and suddenly the sensitive and insecure man I had spent the day with was gone, back was the in control cock-hardening god that I had been introduced to only a few days ago.

I fastened my seatbelt and he reversed from the lot. "Erwin told me you agreed to let me take you shopping?" he seemed a little uncertain broaching the topic.

"Only if it's what you want," I looked away and missed the way his cheeks flushed at my words.

"Yes, it is," he said and his full focus was on the road again.

"Thank you Eren," he whispered suddenly and I looked at him because of the weight to his words. As we drove through a crowded city I discovered that I loved this car, I ran my fingers over its leather. I loved how it could block all of them out and make it feel like it was just us. I smiled _Thank you Eren_ , it warmed parts of me that had been asleep for a while and suddenly I wondered if I did know what tonight would be about, and my groin ached at the thought.


	6. Anticipation

Levi had been generous in his bestowing of an outfit upon me. We had agreed upon nice dress pants and a button up. The pants were the easy part, basic black, it was all I wore. Or at least I thought they would be the easy part. Levi was insisting on a dark grey pant instead. He said it was basically black and I said if it was basically black why not go the extra shade darker and make it black, he didn't think that was funny. So because of my bad joke, I was trying on a light grey instead. It felt odd, I didn't know how to match a light grey.

"The pants fit," I called out.

"Good," it sounded like he was just outside the door. "What color shirt do you want?"

"I don't know, I don't wear grey. What matches?"

"You're hopeless you know that?" it sounded more endearing that rude so I decided not to get angry about the comment.

"Well, what do you want me to do?"

"Just stay in there," Levi's voice was already moving away. "I'll be right back." So I waited as I looked at the grey pants. Grey. It didn't look bad, I just wasn't used to it. I didn't wear formal clothes much though so I guess that made sense. "Eren open the door," Levi rapped it quietly. I opened it a crack expecting him to just hand the shirts in but he forced the hole wider and stepped inside.

"Wha?" I was cut off as he closed the door quickly and pressed his lips onto mine. His hands were in my hair and he was leaning into me, his height, not quite the disadvantage that some might have imagined. It felt like the release of the sexual tension that had been building between us since I had seen him. I leaned down a bit, my neck a little strained but nothing that would cause me to stop. His lips were chapped as they melted against mine. I let out an airy moan as he licked my lips and he used it to slip his tongue into my mouth. We lounged against the dressing stall for a moment longer before he pulled away. I was panting like an animal while he looked calm and collected. I didn't want to stop, I wanted to ravage his neck and leave deep purple marks along it. We were in public though so I had to manage a degree of control over myself.

"Did you find some shirts?" I managed.

"Yes I got a very good selection," he turned his attention to the shirts that had been hung up.

"One of them is pink," I said annoyed.

"I like pink," he said, brows furrowing.

"I don't, I'll try the other few." He seemed irritated that I wouldn't be trying the pink shirt on, but I honestly just didn't like pink. I had nothing against people who did, it wasn't like I was a raging anti-feminist, I just didn't like the color, I didn't like red much either. I enjoyed the light blue and dark blue the most, not incredibly surprising since blue was my favorite color.

"I just need help picking between these two," I held them up to Levi who had since exited the dressing room in hopes that I would more easily be able to dress.

"They're both blue," he frowned.

"I like blue."

"So you'll get two blue shirts but you won't even try on the pink?" he arched an eyebrow.

"I didn't say I was getting them both I said I needed help deciding between them."

"Of course we're going to get both," he rolled his eyes. "I have the money for it and I'd like you to have something you feel comfortable in for our next date as well. Fine two blue it is," he shook his head. "Now come on I need you to look at the ties, hopefully, one will match both but if not then it's not that big of a deal."

"I need a tie?" I asked as I held both of the shirts. I would discretely put one down on our way.

"Of course you need a tie," he said.

"You're not wearing a tie," I said. He didn't need one though, he was in a casual button up and dark wash jeans that clung to him in a way that fabric shouldn't be able to. I was jealous of those jeans, to be honest. I'd love to cling onto him and never let go.

"This isn't about my wardrobe it's about yours. And you need ties." He strutted over to the tie selection, I ditched the lighter blue shirt on one of the racks and followed after him.

"Ok let me see the shirts, I think I have a few that will work." I held the dark blue one towards him. "What happened to the other one?"

"Oh," I shrugged. "I, I put it back."

He arched an eyebrow at me. "Repeat that?"

"I put it back, I, I don't need both," I said softly.

"I told you I want you to have it for our second date. Did you choose to ignore me?" he tilted his head.

"No...sir," I looked down but glanced up as I added the word and saw his mouth twitch upwards before schooling it back into a frown.

"Go back and grab it, or you'll be even sorrier when we get back to the car."

My stomach clenched in anticipation as I went back to the rack and grabbed it, barely beating an associate to it. I returned to him and he was holding up three ties, one was pure white with different shades of blue lines running diagonally on it. The second tie was black with teal lines running through it in a mismatch pattern. The last tie was a dark blue with white, black, and grey lines running through it.

"I see you like lines," I commented.

"What do you mean?" he looked up from the ties to me.

"All three have lines, there's not like circles or any other pattern, just lines," I shrugged. "It's not bad I just noticed."

"Do you not like lines?" his eyes quickly went back to the wide selection.

"No they'll look great," I wanted to reach out and touch him but I kept my hands by my side.

"James," Levi called and an associate came over. "Can you put the pants, the shirts, and these three ties over by the register, we'll be buying all of them, I just need to grab one last thing," he looked at my feet, "two last things," he shook his head.

"Yes sir," James took the clothes and went behind the counter to store them neatly.

"I don't need anything else, those alone were already too much," I was beginning to stress, I probably wouldn't even have enough to pay him back if I wanted to at this rate.

"You need a vest for the outfit, and there's no way you're wearing running shoes into that restaurant."

"A vest is overkill, and I can find a PayLess or Mary's for the shoes, I don't need you to spend any more of your money on me." He glared up at me before taking my hand and dragging me to the back of the store. We went into the dressing room and he shoved me up against a wall not bothering to lock the stall door. His hand was suddenly digging into my stomach, his four fingers were straight and putting an uncomfortable though not painful pressure into my abs.

"Listen good brat because I'm only going to say this once. It's my money and I'm going to decide how I use it, if I want to spend it on a new car I will, if I want to spend it on a trip to one of the Upper districts I will, if I want to invest every cent into finding out if sasquatch is real or not, I will," he narrowed his eyes at me, his hand making steady progress from my stomach upwards. "It just so happens that today, in this moment I want to spend my money on you. So learn to shut up and say thank you," his fingers bent and curled around my neck and my breath caught. We had spoken of nothing, set no limits, I wasn't opposed to choking but airplay was risky and it was yet to be seen if he was in proper control over his emotions to work with edge play right now. He hesitated and I nodded his hand applying pressure to my neck. I tried to breathe, minimal oxygen went through. It was my favorite part of airplay. A lot of people just held their breath or outright choked but I loved finding the point, testing the grip, seeing when I could breathe and when I couldn't. I was already getting more excited than I should in a dressing room stall but I couldn't help myself. I took another deep steady breath listening to the air compress to fit in the limited space and feeling my lungs expand to allow in the necessary oxygen. Suddenly the pressure intensified and I tested the passage and nothing would go, it was complete asphyxiation, if he kept this up two things would happen, one is I would run out of air, the second is I would be way too hard to walk out of this dressing stall.

"Do you understand," he hissed. I nodded and his hand fell from my neck. The air flooded back in, but I didn't gasp at it like a drowning man, I took slow, deep breaths. My hand rubbed where his hand been and the warmth remained. I followed him out as he looked through the selection of shoes, badgering me for my shoe size, and then the vests, it was easy to find the matching one for the pants. Then he headed to the checkout stand where I tried to ignore the prices as they flashed on the register and as the man read him his total. Levi pulled out a black card and handed it over unphased, being rich had its perks.

He handed me the bag and instructed that I go change in one of the dressing rooms. James offered to take me back and I accepted. As I dressed I thought about what a dangerous player Levi was. He certainly had a spark of unpredictability to him. Anyone who was willing to engage in airplay without a conversation first had a dangerous edge to them. Of course, it was consensual but, I had to think of my own shortcomings, letting a dom I knew nothing about control if I could breathe or not. It wasn't like I could safewords as I was choking to death, that was one of the risks of airplay. Not to mention we hadn't even discussed safe words. I laughed, oh I was really getting ahead of myself. I hoped that what he wanted to discuss tonight was continuing an arrangement like this, I wanted him badly. As I fastened my pants and tucked my shirt in, it dawned on me how badly I wanted him. It was a chance to feel as at peace as I had before, under Ian. I wanted that desperately.

Levi whistled lowly as I approached him and my cheeks flared up. I was holding the bag with my old clothes and my alternate shirt and two other ties, the rest was on me.

"I like the teal," he commented looking over the fabric with scrutiny.

"Thank you," I smiled.

"Eren," he asked as we left the store. I looked to him as he kept walking through the outdoor mall we were in. "Will you allow me to buy you a cologne as well?"

I weighed my options, I didn't want him spending his money on me, but we had already had a similar fight once. He had very clearly expressed his opinion on the matter to me, and if I was hoping for this type of relationship to work I needed to listen. "If it would make you happy then I would appreciate one."

His face lit up and he kissed my cheek softly. "Good boy," he whispered almost inaudibly. I had no idea if I was supposed to hear it or not, but I had, and it sent a thrill through me. _Good boy_.

The cologne shopping was much easier and more affordable, which I was grateful for. He sprayed it on both of us and then walked back to the car. He opened the trunk and put his bag and mine in. He got into the car and I followed suit. I was confused as he drove past the exit and instead went into the lower floor of the parking garage.

"I thought we were going to dinner?" I asked as he pulled into the most out of the way space possible, basement level, all the way back against the wall, limited lighting. I gulped.

"We are, but first I wanted to ask your permission to spank you," he looked over at me. I blinked a few times.

"What?" I asked breathlessly. Was this really happening, my mind was on hyperdrive. Of course you can spank me! Why on earth would I say no? Who would say no to such an attractive man who shares the same sexual deviations as they do?

"In the store, you disobeyed me, and that made me, upset," he chose his words carefully and kept his eyes trained on my face. "We haven't set any limits but I was wondering if I could spank you. Not with anything besides my hand and not more than ten times, nothing too strange until we've been over in detail what you are and aren't ok with. I have no intention of actually hurting you Eren."

"Yes," I said quickly. His eyebrow quirked and he smiled genuinely.

"Good," Levi purred and opened his door to climb into the back, I followed his lead, getting stuck in my seatbelt in my haste. I sat next to him in the car and waited for instruction. "Unzip your pants and pull them down," he instructed. I struggled to follow his instructions in the confined space. I got my pants down and didn't move for anything else. "Boxers too," he urged and I obeyed. "Lay here," he patted his legs. We took a moment to get comfortable, he adjusted his legs multiple times until my weight was more evenly distributed. I was happy to see he didn't seem at all irritated about adjusting, he asked multiple times if I was satisfied and seemed determined to find the best position. When my stomach was flat on his legs, I put my hands against the floor of the car. My ass was up in the air and I waited for the first blow.

"Do you know the classic safe words Eren?"

"Yes, sir."

"Tell them to me."

"Green is go, yellow is pause, red is stop."

"Very good, I don't expect we'll have to use them but I want to make sure just in case." Great dom. "There will be no other rules and this is simply a spanking, not a scene, do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," I nodded licking my lips. My cock was already getting hard.

"Count as I spank you ok?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good boy, now Eren tell me why you're being punished," he stroked my bare skin softly.

"Because I put a shirt back when you told me not to."

"Very good," his hand came down harshly on my left cheek and I groaned out 'one'. The following two blows came just as quickly, with no pause between the three.

"Do not cum in this car," I could hear the amusement in his voice but I knew it was a serious command.

"Sorry sir," my cheeks were burning.

"It's alright," he brought his hand down on my right cheek this time, then twice more on my left, two on my right, another on my left and the last landed between the cheeks hitting my hole and making me gasp. "Such a good boy," he cooed. He was already pulling up gently on my hips and I followed his lead sitting beside him on the back seat.

"Thank you, sir."

"Thank you, Eren," he leaned forwards and kissed me gently. His hands came up and cupped my cheeks, stroking the sides softly. I moaned into the kiss and leaned into him. His lips were rough and I never wanted to pull away. But the kiss did end. "Pull your pants up, we need to get to dinner," he pecked my lips one more time. He didn't move away, he waited for me to pull my pants up then we both got out of the car and climbed into the front seats again. His hand traced patterns on my upper thigh as he pulled out of the structure. The sting in my ass was a welcome sensation. It had been awhile since I had dabbled at all into the more masochistic side of my sexual deviance. But it was nice, the hard on that wouldn't be attended to was less so but with enough deep breaths and time, it would go away. As long as Levi stopped tracing patterns on my leg that is.

"Stay seated," Levi instructed as he parked the car and walked around the side. He opened the door for me and I stepped out.

"Thank you," I blushed heavily as he took my hand and we walked towards the front. A real date, it had been a while.

The dinner was quick, with the feeling that Levi was anxious for it to end. At first, I was a bit self-conscious about his eagerness to end. But as the night went on and his foot made its way to flirt with mine, to slide up and down my leg and his fingers caressed my own both consciously at times and unconsciously as he reviewed the wine list I realized his hurry to leave had little to do with escaping my company. We flirted a little and sampled each other's dishes. The dinner was very enjoyable but I found that I too was excited to leave and make my way to his home. The bill came and he snatched it so fast I was sure I wouldn't be allowed to contribute. He had spent more money on me in the span of a few hours than I was comfortable spending on anything for a week or two let alone one day. I was grateful though, attempted to accept graciously rather than appear spoiled or sour. Soon, but not soon enough we made our way to his car.

"Eren," he whispered and held the door for me. My eyes connected with his as I slid in and my body lit on fire at the smirk he threw me before shutting the door. He went around the side and slid into the driver's spot.

He reached across the space and took my hand. "Did you enjoy tonight Eren?" he asked me.

"Yes," I said meeting his eyes. "Very much."

"Then would you like to continue having nights like these? Would you like to go speak to Erwin about what the proposal would be?"

"Yes sir," I nodded. He let out an airy moan.

"Good, if you'll indulge me I'd like to take you somewhere we can discuss your limits before we meet with Erwin. I want to be well versed in you before he gets involved."

"Does he not listen?" I was a little apprehensive.

"Not it's not that, Erwin is just very, shall we say persuasive. And I would like to know your true hard and soft limits before he's involved so I can be on your side."

"Oh," I blushed. "That's very kind of you," I reached across the car brazenly and took his hand. He looked down at our intertwined fingers surprised but smiled rather than pull away or look disgusted.

"So I'm assuming you're not a 24/7?"

I shook my head. "I don't mind some control in my life, especially because sometimes stress can make me manic and a dom stepping in is very relaxing but I'm not the best at total surrender, even in some scenes so I prefer not to get smacked for my mouth."

"Fair enough," Levi conceded. "When those moments come I'll do my best to have an instinct to step in but if you need me you can always ask, and if I've ever overstepped you can say yellow or red and I'll go back to...well whatever we decide we'll have outside of the bedroom."

"Ok," I nodded. A calming sensation was washing over me. It was so easy to fall back into, to give up control to someone else. And Levi seemed so considerate like he wanted to make sure that everything was going to go ok. Actually the more I analyzed it the more Levi seemed almost...nervous. He seemed a little unsure.

"Do you know your hard and soft limits?" he asked as we drove.

"Yes," I replied. Ian had forced me to try just about everything once, even flogging and caning, on what he insisted was the lowest level possible. Hard limit for both. I refused outright to allow him to try anything to do with feces or urine, it was disgusting. I also had called red the instant he tried to get me to drink blood or try to use it to masturbate or something, it wasn't a lubricant that I enjoyed. I shuttered. I was fine with wax and flames as long as the dominant was well schooled with fireplay. I was ok with CNC as long as there was a respect for the safe words, it was a hard limit until I was comfortable with my dom. Strangulation was a hard limit, it was simply too risky, use of hands was a soft limit and something I could most likely be coaxed into but nothing that would have to be untied or undone, if I needed air I wanted it right away. Levi didn't seem worried about any of my limits, he nodded and listened carefully.

"What about electric play?" he asked, he seemed to sit up a little straighter when he asked.

"It's not something that I've tried," I admitted. Guess even Ian missed a few. "But I'm open to trying, as long as you're in control." He nodded his head. He seemed to have a slight tug at either side of his lips, electric play was one of his kinks then, something he wanted. I would have to be sure to have an open mind. He didn't ask about any other kinks. I figured pretty much everything we didn't cover was either considered basic play that would have come up as a limit if either of us cared or would be discussed in a pre-scene. Worst case scenario anything could be safe worded.

"I guess all that's left then is to go home and see Erwin," Levi said.

"I guess so," I said gripping his hand tightly. We had been coasting along the coastal highway but Levi made a U-turn and we headed in what I assumed was the direction of his house. Erwin, even the name sent shivers down my spine, he sounded like a man in control. I gulped.

L&E

 **AN: Eek! So it's been awhile. My life has gotten a little hectic with stuff I won't really bore anyone with. I am planning on continuing this story I'm just a little hesitant to commit to a side. Part of me sees it getting very interesting if Levi, Eren, and Erwin were to find themselves as a little BDSM family with an open mind to having more participants but at the same time that wasn't the original plan I had for the story. I'm worried that breaking away may make it turn out bad but at the same time well it's fanfiction and I'm tempted to go with my gut (that being said it could get weird from here on out then lol). Anyways I wanted to give you guys an update and so for better or for worse here it is. Thank you so much for the reviews, especially those of you who checked up on me ^/^ so kind. I'm going to try to be better about updating but you won't see one between May 16-31 as I will be traveling, so I'll do my best to have one ready for before and after but no promises. Thank you all so much!**


	7. It Wasn't My Fault

It Wasn't My Fault

Coming into the house was unnerving. Everything was essentially as it had been the first time I had come into Levi's house but somehow it felt more ominous this time. I walked into the living room and saw Erwin sitting on the couch. At least, I assumed it was Erwin unless Levi had another man he needed to tell me about.

"Hello Eren," Erwin smiled. Levi and I had stayed out late, the darkness pouring in through the windows was eerie now.

I looked at Levi, "Eren this is Erwin, come and sit with us," Levi took my hand in his gently. He made me feel more comfortable about whatever odd event was about to happen.

"There's no need to be worried Eren," Erwin's voice stretched into the space. "You have all the control here. Whatever makes you uncomfortable is where all of us stop. I just wanted to meet to see what you might want from me or Levi or both of us. I also wanted to answer any questions you had." Levi and I sat on a couch opposite Erwin. Even though I was on the same couch as Levi, he was angled so that he was facing me making him appear more aligned with Erwin than myself.

"I...I have a lot of questions," I admitted softly.

"Why don't we start with just one," Erwin smiled reassuringly.

"Ok." I tried to think really hard about what I most wanted to know. "Levi said that if he and I were to get involved that...that you wouldn't be mad at him." Erwin shot Levi what appeared to be a glare and Levi looked away. "How would I fit into what's already in place?"

Erwin chuckled slightly. "You are a true submissive. Well at the moment Levi is my submissive and I am his dominant. Levi has expressed to me that he is interested in becoming your dominant but would like guidance from me because he's not familiar with all the toys, so essentially I would be teaching Levi. It's up to you Eren if you would like to become my submissive as well or simply be Levi's. My relationship with Levi would not change but I would not join your scenes without both his and your explicit permission just as you would not join ours without the same." I nodded, following for the most part. "If you did choose to become more of a unit, or a family if you're familiar with the term, then most scenes would be inclusive of all however private scenes are always allowed as well."

I fiddled with my fingers. I had never really been interested in a BDSM family. Ian had done two group scenes with me before, one with multiple subs and doms and one with four doms and me. The last group scene probably should have ended our relationship. Ian had been furious when I red-zoned the scene. Two of the doms scrambled to release the multiple binds, gags, and plugs, one offering to help me to the bathroom to purge the semen they had plugged up inside of me. Unfortunately, neither of those doms had been Ian. Ian had been staring at me shaking with rage. The next four days had been punishment, one day for each dom I had disappointed. Luckily Ian had forgiven me and my inability to satisfy that part of his fantasies. After that, group scenes had become an unspoken hard limit for me.

That whole commotion probably should have meant that I was completely insane for even considering this. But I wanted Levi, as quickly as all of it was moving Levi had been the first thing to make me feel comfortable in my new surroundings. So maybe it was stupid to consider the possibility of a joint relationship but if that was the only way I could have Levi it would be worth it.

"From past experience," my voice came out shaky. "I would say group play is off the table."

"How many times have you tried?" Erwin leaned forwards.

"Twice," I was honest.

"Well twice is hardly a full sampling. What was it about a group scene you didn't like?" Erwin pressed.

I fidgeted with the hair on the back of my neck. "There were too many doms, I couldn't please everyone," I admitted. The same sick churning in my stomach from that day appeared as I remembered. It was my utmost desire to please my doms and to fail so wholey, it had left me a mess. It took me a little while to get back to alright even with Ian at my side.

"Well, see in this situation there would only be two doms. And since we know about your anxiousness with the situation we would take care to ensure that no conflicting orders were given."

My eyes flicked to Levi who was watching me closely, I couldn't hold contact, they flitted to my hands. I gulped, my mouth suddenly dry. I was opening it to say something when Levi's voice cut me off.

"He said he doesn't want group scenes so it's off limits." I looked up at him, whatever Levi had hoped for as far as group play went he was willing to sacrifice for my opinion. Erwin shot him a deadly glare and my blood froze. It...I had been wrong before. I _did_ recognize the tone Erwin spoke with, the looks he gave, the way he held himself. He was my dad. Not in the way that some doms liked being called 'daddy', which I wouldn't have been surprised in the least if he _did_ like that, but in who he was. He was manipulative, he was controlling, he was a master at twisting things around and making you feel like it was your idea or your fault. He was the ultimate chess player, he could play a room, a person, or emotions. He was deadly. And I had wandered too close without realizing it was a trap.

I looked around the house again the darkness was still present but it felt as if it was creeping in on the lit up room. I had to get out, but how could I even manage that now? I was miles away from home, Reiner was likely asleep, Levi would be dealing with the aftermath of me leaving. I was truly trapped, how well this man had played it, my only option was to spend the night here, at least in some capacity. And if I wasn't careful I was pretty sure that the capacity would be naked in between them.

I started strumming my fingers against my knee nervously. I exhaled to collect my thoughts and then inhaled to steady myself. Then I made eye contact with Levi, I could only hope he could feel my growing anxiety. That somehow he could get me out. He had repeatedly told me he felt drawn to me, comfortable with me. I had to hold out hope that this extended at least in the very basics of it to the psychic ability to read my mind, or the panic in my eyes. I wanted to scream _get me out_ but that would only anger Erwin. I couldn't ask to leave because then I would be the bad guy, and despite everything, I still wanted Levi, just not Erwin. And in truth, I wanted to get rid of Erwin. He had no right glaring at Levi for sharing his opinion. A good dom should be receptive of his subs wants and desires. Even if Levi was my dom at least for now he was Erwin's sub, which meant Erwin should have been caring and open to him, not harsh and oppressive.

"Group scenes is something we can build a trust towards," Erwin said confidently. My mind was racing, what could I say to get myself out of this, what could I say to through the biggest wrench possible into the situation, to force them to remove me from this house. It would have to spark a fight between the two of them. If they needed to speak in private, I would have to leave. My lips parted and I tried not to smile.

"After meeting both of you I actually," I looked away as if embarrassed. "I'm embarrassed to confess that I would only be interested in pursuing a relationship with Levi. I apologize for wasting your time but well, I have a very specific type. I'm sure you understand most people do, I can see that you do as far as features go Levi and I have the same dark hair, same build, and we're both of a shorter stature than yourself." I turned to Levi who seemed a bit shocked but tried instantly to recover from it when my eyes landed on his. "I'm so sorry to have wasted your time with that part. But I would still be interested in _you_ becoming my dom." I smiled pleasantly and kept my eyes locked with his.

"I, um," Levi stuttered.

"That's something Levi and I would need to speak of privately. Thus far in our relationship that hasn't come up yet," Erwin's tone was icy and it felt like he was glaring at me but I kept my eyes on Levi.

"Alright," I said. "I understand and I'm thankful you'd even consider having me still sir," I licked my lips.

Levi stood and Erwin's arm snapped out and clutched his wrist like a handcuff. "I drove him here Erwin, I need to take him home. He doesn't live around here," Levi's eyes were closed off as he waited for Erwin to remove his hand. Erwin did reluctantly. "Come on Eren," Levi went and grabbed the keys from the kitchen counter. I stood, purposely avoided looking at Erwin and headed towards the door.

"Levi, make sure you come home right after," Erwin said as Levi was unlocking his door. Levi didn't say anything, just held the door open for me and then closed it behind him. He didn't even bother locking it. He opened the garage from a little panel on the exterior of the home and then got in. He backed it out for me before peeling out of the driveway and heading for the streets. He was speeding and I could read the disappointment on him. The Tesla could hardly offer me any comfort, as much as I loved the leather interior and the tinted windows, tonight it felt more of an oppressive silence than a comfortable private space.

"Why," Levi whispered. I took a deep breath.

"I had to get out, to get away from him." I saw Levi's eyes slide over to me for a very short minute.

"What do you mean? You've only seen Erwin once."

"Maybe," I admitted. "But I know what he's like, I've met people like him before and I moved here because of someone like him."

"You haven't told me why you moved here yet," Levi said.

I took a deep breath and looked out the window. "You're right," I said. "You can still see some of the aftermath, at least when my makeup is off." I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't really know how to say, sorry but your boyfriend reminds me a lot of my dad who used to beat me. I picked up on it and almost lost my shit so I needed to get myself out of the situation. I sighed. I had to start somewhere.

"My dad used to hit me," I whispered. The car came to a stop quickly, we were pulled off to the side and Levi slammed his fingers against the hazards button then stared at me.

"The bruises," he said softly, I nodded. Some of this stuff I would be saying out loud for the first time ever.

"He, he hated me, for a long time, even before he found out I was gay. We would fight a lot, usually about stuff he blamed me for, sometimes it was my fault sometimes it wasn't. I used to feel like it was always my fault, but I stopped feeling like that eventually. But when I stopped feeling like it was my fault, it got harder to deal with." I swallowed hard. "That's when I started cutting," it was a lie, a small one. Well, it wasn't a complete lie, but the cuts had a lot more to do with Ian than my dad but I didn't know if I wanted to dive into everything that went on between me and Ian with Levi. I rubbed my palms on my jeans and exhaled a bit. "I ran away the night he found out I was gay. It had always been pretty bad but, that night, that was the worst," my breaths were shaky and I didn't know if I would start crying or not.

"Sh," he placed his hand over mine and I looked at him surprised. "It's ok," his free hand pushed the hazard button again and he awkwardly switched out of park and slid back onto the road. I didn't really know what to make of it, was he bored? The question felt bitter inside me. Sorry, my pain isn't interesting enough, I wanted to roll my eyes. I settled back in the seat and looked out the window, his hand was still holding mine but I kind of wished it wasn't. I swallowed hard, the tears weren't threatening as much as before but, I was hurt, deeply by Levi's rejection of me. I hadn't told anyone this ever. And to think I was actually going to open up to him about Mikasa, glad I didn't do that at least. What a mistake that would have been anyways, he wasn't even mine. Telling him all this personal stuff, that would have been one thing. Maybe I should get my story off of my chest, after all, I'd never told anyone the details before, but Mikasa's that should stay locked away. Somewhere private and secluded, for only the most trusted of allies.

I was surprised by the unexpected turn we made. I looked to Levi before finding the window again, a hotel. He parked in a close space and squeezed my hand. He got out and came around to open the door for me. I didn't even have my seatbelt off, I wasn't sure what to make of it.

"What are we doing?" I asked him.

"Come on," he smiled warmly and held his hand out for me. I stared at it before undoing my seatbelt and taking it. He gently pulled me from the car and shut the door, locking it. He placed his hand on my lower back and ushered me inside. "Sit here and wait," he instructed pointing to a seat near the door. I nodded and sat down looking around the lobby. It was large, well-done. Nothing was overly flashy but it was all in good taste. Levi spoke to the man behind the counter for a few minutes before handing him a credit card and walking back to me.

"Let's go," he said softly and held his hand out again. I took it greedily and followed him to the elevator. He pushed '7' and the machine silently made it's way up. "The car isn't the place to have a conversation like that," he said into the low hum. I looked at him stunned. He wasn't looking at me though. "When you tell me you should be somewhere comfortable and safe. I should be able to focus on you completely, not be distracted by trying to drive safely."

"You weren't driving we were parked," I blurted ungratefully before I could stop myself.

A small smile crept onto his lips. "Still, it's hard to hold you close in a car." My cheeks tinted red. "And I want to, I want to make you feel safe Eren."

I stared at him. "Erwin told you to come back home," I said stupidly.

"Yes I heard him, but I'm more worried about you," his steely eyes locked onto mine. My breath caught in my throat.

"So, you're not going home tonight?" I whispered as the elevator chimed our arrival.

A devilish smirk came onto Levi's face. His finger snaked under my chin and gripped it gently. My cheeks heated as he leaned closer, his lips just centimeters away from my own. My knees shook and my breath was airy. "I'm not going home tonight," he whispered, the words caressing my lips. I was hungry for him, I wanted to lean forwards and capture his lips with mine. But I knew better, a boyfriend, no matter how shitty, was still a boyfriend. So when he let go of my chin and headed out of the elevator I had to hesitate after him. I yelped as the elevator began to close and scurried out.

Levi walked down the hallway a few rooms and then opened a door. I followed behind him and stared at the one bed in the room. This was wrong, my mind whined at me. Because _Levi_. I closed the door. Levi took his shirt off and stripped his dark wash jeans. He was left in just his boxers and I couldn't avert my eyes.

"Well, come on then. Are you planning on sleeping in that?" he asked me.

"Well, I, no," I stuttered.

"Of course not," Levi said. "You'd ruin your brand new outfit. So strip," he said tilting his head with an entertained smirk.

"Alright," I nodded and started unbuttoning my shirt. Levi sat on the bed watching me closely. I toed my shoes off and then gulped before undoing my pants. I really needed to make sure that I watched where my mind wandered to since I would definitely be on display for him if I got even a little excited.

"Eren," he called out for me and I moved towards him. I climbed onto the bed beside him and stared at him unwilling to move and define the relationship myself. He twisted his finger in the air signaling for me to turn around once I had he pulled me into his lap. My head was rested on his legs and he was kiting his fingers through my hair. "Tell me," he whispered into the dark room, he hadn't even bothered turning a light on when we had entered.

I took a deep breath, I had to start somewhere. "My dad found out I was gay a few days ago, the day before I met you actually. He flipped out and gave me the cuts and bruises you've already seen," Levi's fingers delicately traced the patches of skin my makeup still desperately attempted to cover.

"So you and your dad never got along?" he asked.

"A little more when I was younger," I debated telling him about Mikasa, it was hard to see what went wrong if I excluded her.

"So what changed?"

"I became more rebellious," I said.

He made a humming noise. "I," I chewed on my lip. In the car first I had thought it would be a good idea to tell Levi about Mikasa, then I thought it was a bad one. Now my story would be hard to tell in completion without talking about her. "I had a sister," I said softly. It was unlikely Levi and Mikasa would meet anyways, so there was no harm really.

"I didn't know you had siblings."

"She was adopted. Her parents were killed when she was seven, the murderer was still in the house. They were trying to kidnap her. Her parents were poor off and not too many people cared about them. She was really pretty and they wanted to sell her into the underground sex trade." I glanced up at Levi but his eyes were closed listening to me. His fingers still made their way through my hair. "My father is a doctor and we were visiting the house to check up on her mother who had been pregnant and in need of cheap care. When my dad came to the open door, he freaked out. Rushed in and checked their pulses, both the parents were already dead, blood was everywhere. He was screaming for me to stay outside, not to come in. These two guys came in, claiming to be neighbors who had called the cops. They said that they had seen a creep running from the house with a little girl screaming. My dad jumped up, asked them to look after me then ran out. He said he would try and figure out which way they went since the police would take too long. The men agreed to watch after me and then waited until he left. They snarled and kicked me against the wall, I pretended to be knocked out. I didn't know what they were going to do, but they went into the apartment and then I heard her screaming. I, I didn't know she was still inside or I never would have let them," I was crying, tears leaking from my eyes and Levi hushed me. He bent and kissed my forehead, his fingers trailing over my cheeks drying my tears as they ran.

"Do you need to take a break?" he asked. I almost wondered if he needed one, that sure was a lot to get unloaded on you in a few minutes. But I shook my head, it was an all or nothing kind of situation and if I stopped now, it would never be out.

"I ran inside and grabbed the knife that was sticking out of the mom's neck. I grabbed it steadily between my two hands and hurried into the room where she was screaming. I sliced the first guy, the one holding her, across the back of his knee. He screamed and fell and let her go. She ran away from him but the other guy tried to grab her. I stabbed him over and over, the report said he had cuts on his arms, chest, neck, and face. The second guy pried me off of him, I think he was probably already dead. I screamed and kicked him and cut his jaw a few times. He said a lot of really bad words. I remember one of the times I hit him it was like slow motion. I swung back and felt the tip collide and slide through, it stopped for a second before pushing through again, it took a lot of force before the hilt hit the side of his head, but then he dropped me. The girl, my sister, she grabbed my hand and ran from the room. We ran out of the apartment complex even as people screamed after us. We ran down the street and most people moved out of the way of the two bloody kids. A few people tried to stop us and calm us down but we'd scream and rush away, one time we ran across the street and almost got hit. Eventually we saw a policeman on patrol and kind of tackled him down. I remember he reached for his gun before he realized we were sobbing frightened children.

"He took us down to the precinct where we refused to be separated. My parents really had no option but to take my sister at that point because the two of us wouldn't leave each other. My mom was devastated when she found out I had somehow murdered two adult men. She and my dad fought constantly about how irresponsible he was for taking me with him on his work, about how he left me with strangers who ended up trying to kill me. My relationship with my dad was never the same after that day. I was just trying to do what was best but in the end, I messed everything up, and I ruined the relationship I had and my dad could never love a murd-"

I screamed, lost in my story, as Levi managed to maneuver my body underneath his. His eyes were icy as he stared down at me. "Don't you dare," he hissed. I looked up at him, the tears still trickling down my cheeks at a steady pace, my heart stuttering from his sudden hatred.

"L-Levi," my voice shook.

"It was not your fault," it was like a blow to the gut. "Your dad sounds like he has some seriously fucked up problems to deal with. You saved your life and someone else's. You handled the situation the best you could with your limited capabilities at your age. He's an idiot if he thought those two would just leave you unconscious there, they either would have taken you with them or killed you. Eren look at me," it was hard to focus through the new batch of tears. "Look at me, it was not your fault. Eren you have to listen. Repeat it, it was not your fault," he seemed desperate. "Eren," he called louder trying to break through my daze. His eyes were darting all around my face but I couldn't focus. "Red, yellow, green," he said suddenly.

"Green," I mumbled.

"Green, sir," he said harshly.

"Green sir," I said back with more force.

"Repeat after me, it was not your fault."

"It wasn't my fault," I whispered.

"Louder," he insisted.

"It wasn't my fault," I said at a normal volume. The tightness in my chest was building, it hurt, but it also felt strangely warm. "It wasn't my fault," I said again, choking on the words. "It wasn't my fault," the tightness exploded and I started crying, muttering it again and again. "It wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault…" It was his fault, it was my dad's fault. Levi was right I was a _child_. He left me _alone_ with _murderers_. It wasn't my fault. I wasn't to blame. Ian had never told me this, he'd never washed away my anguish or grief. "It wasn't my fault," I said and Levi took his legs off from straddling me. He sat beside me and pulled me up so I was sitting. He pulled my head into his neck and I sobbed harder, mumbling it over and over again, it wasn't my fault, I clutched onto him for dear life.

We sat there for awhile, it was hard to tell how long because I couldn't see the harsh red numbers from the alarm clock. But Levi didn't get bored or anything, he held me, content with our contact and waiting for me to normalize.

Eventually, my crying turned to sniffing and the sniffing turned into deep calming breathes. I was breathing against his neck and I realized for the first time that we were both nearly naked. I was pressed with my bare chest to his bare chest. My legs were crossed behind his back, forcing us to stay in close proximity. I licked my lips to rid them of tears and my tongue, ever so briefly, tasted his flesh. We were so close together.

Slowly, tentatively, I kissed the flesh of his neck. Levi let out a soft noise, not even a moan, just sound. I nuzzled the tender skin with my nose before placing another kiss there. The kisses were soft and gentle before turning hot and wet. And soon we were both panting in the dark. Levi's hands were clinging onto me, wrapped under my arms and pulling my close. His nails bit into my back and drug down, marking inch after inch. I was panting heavily and he was moaning softly, it was as if we both understood we had to be nearly silent or else the spell would break. One hand buried in his hair, I tugged at the roots absentmindedly, my other hand tracing nonsense patterns on his back. I blackened his neck with my mouth, sure that there would be a huge, irrefutable mark by the end of the night. We were both panting heavily by the time I pulled away. His arms were still behind me, holding me close, holding me to him.

In the dark, I couldn't see his eyes, but I knew mine were clouded with lust. In the pitch black, it was almost like it didn't count. It was almost like we could lie to ourselves. It was almost like there wasn't someone waiting at home for him. It was almost like it wasn't really happening. But I leaned forwards and kissed his lips, and it was almost like we had had enough self-control.

L&E

 **AN: Wow I made you wait for this one. I am sooooo sorry. I just got back from a 16 day trip to another country yesterday and really sat my butt down to pump this out for you guys. I'm surprisingly pleased with how it turned out and I hope you guys love it. I'll be uploading this as well as a few others onto my new ao3 account: SereneWriter. Almost everything will be double posted so you don't have to check it out but if you prefer ao3 site I'm on that as well. Please, please, review it means so much you guys have been amazing and I will try to be better with my next chapter upload. XO Serene**


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